Whether Empty or Half Full, This ‘Glass’ is a Frustrating Misfire

glass movie poster

This is the first M. Night Shyamalan film I have looked forward to watching in over a decade. After the cinematic atrocity which was “The Last Airbender,” I had given up all hope of him returning to his former filmmaking glory. Then there was “After Earth” which did the impossible; it robbed Will Smith of his natural charisma, and it came with the pathetic tagline of “fear is a choice.” But now we have this highly anticipated 2019 film which combines characters from “Unbreakable” and “Split,” the latter being the first Shyamalan movie in ages to earn a fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes. As much as I try to leave my expectations at the door, this one piqued my interest ever since I got a look at its first trailer.

Well, the good news is that “Glass” is no “Last Airbender” as Shyamalan has managed to find his footing again as a filmmaker. The bad news is “The Sixth Sense” director still has yet to regain his mojo as a screenwriter. This long-awaited conclusion to his own superhero trilogy proves to be a disappointing misfire as the promises it looked to contain fall flat long before its misconceived climax which contains more endings than “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” and proves to be as frustrating as the one in “The Matrix Revolutions.”

Through a series of events, both David Dunn (Bruce Willis) and Kevin Wendell Crumb and his 23 different personalities which he refers to as The Horde (all of them played by James McAvoy) end up being imprisoned at a mental institution where Elijah Price/Mr. Glass (Samuel L. Jackson) has resided at for over a decade. The three are put under the care of Dr. Ellie Staple (Sarah Paulson), a psychiatrist whose specialty is working with patients whom she believes are suffering from delusions of grandeur. She wants to convince them they are not the superhuman beings they believe themselves to be, but we already know she will be in for one hell of a surprise.

“Glass” starts off interestingly enough as it reintroduces us to its three main characters with underplayed relish. Seeing David do battle with the most dangerous of Kevin’s personalities, The Beast, is fun as we see these comic book characters, or superheroes if you will, battle one another in a world more real to us than any in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It also doesn’t take too long for these two to be put under the same roof with Mr. Glass who looks to be in a vegetative state, but we know when looking into his twitchy eyes that he is waiting to prove his latest comic book theory for all the world to see. Seeing Jackson’s face reminded me of when Dr. Loomis confronted a young Michael Myers in “Halloween” as he stared listlessly out a window. Loomis says to him, “You fooled them, haven’t you Michael? But not me…”

But once “Glass” moves into the mental asylum, Shyamalan’s version of Arkham, the film begins to fall apart as these three characters cannot come together in a fully satisfying way, and things begin to drag as he underplays everything to where everyone needed an overdose of coffee or Red Bull. Granted, Shyamalan likes to underplay things instead of numbing us with endless explosions and characters yelling at one another for no special reason, but I would have loved it if he presented his stories in an overblown manner for once.

And yes, being an M. Night Shyamalan film, this one has the kind of twists he has been employing constantly since “The Sixth Sense.” However, the twists he has in store for us in “Glass” failed to blow my mind in any stimulating way, and they only served to make an already frustrating film even more frustrating as a result. Nothing comes together in a way which makes much sense, and it reminded me of how sick I get of Shyamalan’s need to stay one step ahead of the audience in an effort to outdo his previous work. This has been a big problem for me since “The Village,” and things aren’t getting much better.

By the time he reveals his twists in “Glass,” I had already lost much interest in the story as I found my mind wandering constantly to where thoughts of “Good Will Hunting” danced in my head. As much as I am determined to accept movies for what they are instead of what I want them to be, I kept thinking of the various ways this one could have been greatly improved. Seriously, it would have been far more interesting to see these three men trapped in a room together to where they are forced to deal with one another in a way they could not have expected. This could have been a superhero movie meets “The Breakfast Club” as these three could have discovered all the things they had in common to where they realize how all they have is each other.

As for the acting, it is mostly very good. It’s nice to see Bruce Willis reprising one of his best characters for the first time in years, and playing David Dunn allows the “Die Hard” actor to climb out of the VOD and direct to DVD muck he has been stuck in for far too long now (“Marauders” anyone?). James McAvoy has an actor’s dream role as he plays a character with multiple personalities, and he realizes each one with tremendous thought and precision to where I was in awe at what he pulled off here. As for Samuel L. Jackson, his role as Elijah/Mr. Glass remains one of his most unique as he portrays a “bad-ass motherfucker” who uses his mind instead of a gun or his fists to fulfill his needs.

The only performance I had issues with was Sarah Paulson’s. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fantastic actress who has given many great performances and will give many more in the future, but watching her portray Dr. Ellie Staple was an extraordinarily strange experience. This is not altogether her fault as her character is ill-defined and not conceived in a particularly interesting way, and even when revelations about Ellie are made in the last act, it is not enough to save Paulson’s talents from being wasted. The actress spends most of her time staring at the three main characters or into the camera and looking ridiculously ethereal from start to finish, and it got to where I wanted to yell at the screen, “Hey, act normal! Stop looking so serene!”

For what it’s worth, “Glass” does represent a big step up for Shyamalan as a director. He still shows a solid skill for generating moments of high tension, and this is especially evident in the scene where a male nurse threatens to drop a flashlight onto Elijah’s fragile body. Even though the proceedings could have used a serious energy injection, Shyamalan still shows signs of a director’s mastery of suspense which I hope will serve him well in the future. There are only so many filmmakers who can fall down so far and get a second chance in Hollywood, and I am certain the box office will make clear he is here to stay. But as a writer, he still needs a helping hand as the screenplay has several plot holes you could drive a fleet of double decker busses through.

To watch “Glass” is to analyze it for what it could have been instead of what it is. Shyamalan has succeeded in creating a cinematic universe which Hollywood studios salivate over on a regular basis as the possibilities for sequels appeal to them greatly, but what ends up on the silver screen is inescapably underwhelming. I am happy to say it is no “Last Airbender” and infinitely more entertaining than “After Earth,” but Shyamalan still has yet to regain his former glory as a celebrated filmmaker in the eyes of audiences around the world.

* * out of * * * *

 

 

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M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘The Last Airbender’ is a Cinematic Atrocity

the last airbender movie poster

WRITER’S NOTE: This review was written back in 2010. I also want to dedicate it to my good friend Ed Mahoney who was brave enough to endure this cinematic monstrosity with me.

I couldn’t help it. I had to see this movie for myself. Ever since it opened, “The Last Airbender” has received some of the most atrocious reviews of any movie ever made. Audiences all over have been calling for M. Night Shayamalamadingdong’s blood for the last decade, and they just may get their wish with this monstrosity posing as a summer blockbuster.

But nothing could keep me or a friend of mine from witnessing the cinematic carnage of what was an eagerly awaited motion picture. The reviews were getting increasingly abysmal, and public perception made it look like a car crash you drive by on the freeway which you can’t help but look at. We knew we only had ourselves to blame since we paid $10 bucks each for our tickets, but we were willing to make the sacrifice.

Well, I came out of “The Last Airbender” laughing hysterically. In fact, I couldn’t stop laughing for an hour after I walked out of the theater, and it was for reasons Shyamalan didn’t intend. Everything you have heard about it is true. It is a complete and utter disaster and fails on just about every level a movie can. It proved to be so boring to where I almost passed out even when the soundtracks and explosions increased in volume. Furthermore, the plot is almost completely incoherent, and the dialogue will make you howl in disbelief. Shyamalan’s career has officially hit rock bottom with this atrocious adaptation, and no one is going to ever let him off easy for all the things he got wrong here.

I could tell from the start the movie was going to be terrible as the opening scroll fails to make any back story seem the least bit comprehensible. Then words “Book One” appeared, and it quickly reminded me of what Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi were once told by Irvin Shapiro when they were selling him a certain horror movie:

“Fellas, if you call this movie ‘Book of the Dead’ they’re gonna think they have to read it! Call it ‘The Evil Dead!’”

Campbell and Raimi thought it was the worst title they ever heard, but what did they know?

So, what is “The Last Airbender” about exactly? Well, it’s about this kid named Aang who is brought up out of the water where he has either been hiding or accidentally entombed in, and he is revealed to be the new Avatar. In plain English, the Avatar is the only living being capable of controlling the four elements: water, fire, air and earth. But wait, he wasn’t actually trained on any of them, and yet people take him at his word. What happened? Doesn’t it make more sense for him to be resurrected and have him be fully trained? Or are we going to watch him perfect these so-called talents in future sequels? You know Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon are just begging for a franchise here.

Oh, I see! Aang found out 100 years ago he was the new Avatar and ended up running away because he didn’t want the responsibility. Also, this meant he could never have a family. Now that sucks! You haven’t even gotten laid yet, and then you find out you have all these powers and can defeat anything and anybody in your way. But you know sooner or later, this kid is going to hit puberty and really scare the crap out of everyone. The question is, will he hit puberty in this movie or the sequel?

Those who know me best know how sick and tired I am of movies which have characters forever reluctant to accept the fact they are “the one.” We end up having to spend almost three quarters of the movie’s running time watching Aang bitch and moan about his unfair predicament, and all the time I found myself getting infinitely impatient as we know he will eventually accept the role the universe has given him. Look, you’re “the one,” so get on with it already! Take pride in the fact you can defeat so many enemies without ever having to use a gun!

The two innocent looking kids who accidentally resurrect Aang are Katara, one of the last waterbenders of her tribe, and Sokka. These characters were originally Asian in the television series this film is based on, but Shyamalan chose to cast Caucasian actors instead. To say fans were angered is one of the ultimate understatements of the year. If Shyamalan was such an ardent admirer of the show, he would have honored the source material without question. His casting decision is even more bewildering when you take into account he is an Indian American filmmaker, an ethnicity sorely underrepresented in movies. Furthermore, the actors he cast are personality free and spend way too much time emoting when they should have been acting.

The main antagonist of “The Last Airbender” is the fire nation which appears to be comprised of men who have had all the joy sucked out of their lifeless faces. All of them seem to be on the same emotional wavelength, and none ever appears to enjoy being pyromaniacs for life. Would it be too much to show the bad guys enjoying what they do even as we want to see them fail?

Most of the cast here are unknowns which I thought might give Shyamalan the power to discover some incredible new talent as he did with Haley Joel Osment in “The Sixth Sense,” But from the start you see that these actors are not going to even compare to that kid who saw dead people.

Aang is played by Noah Ringer, and his job seems to be playing the emotion more than the character. We never fully buy into what Aang is doing because Ringer is not able to give us a character worth rooting for. Nicola Peltz plays Katara, and Shyamalan said he refused to make the movie without her, but she is not given much to do other than pine for Aang who is way too young for her. She keeps coming on to Aang like some stalking fan, and I kept waiting for Aang to drop his polite guard and yell at her, “COULD YOU GIVE ME A MOMENT TO MYSELF???!! PLEASE???!!!!”

The biggest name “The Last Airbender” has to offer is Dev Patel whom we all remember from “Slumdog Millionaire.” Patel plays Prince Zuko who spends an obscene amount of time moaning and groaning over how he was once heir to the throne but has since been exiled by his father. The only way back into his dad’s good graces is to capture Aang. After a while, I couldn’t figure out if Zuko was a good or a bad guy. Maybe that ambiguity was supposed to be there in the screenplay, but it gave me a headache just thinking about what role this character was supposed to play in the story.

As for the screenplay, it features dialogue which sounds like people listlessly reading facts from some outdated history book which should have been removed from circulation seven years ago. Much of it cannot be digested without cringing in utter horror. This is the same problem I had with the “Star Wars” prequels as they too contained characters made to sound like they are in some stuffy period piece when they should sound relatively normal. Compared to those three movies, however, George Lucas’ dialogue sounds amazingly fresh compared to what comes from Shyamalan’s pen.

I’m not sure what else to say about “The Last Airbender” other than it is a monumental failure, and the blame for its epic awfulness lays solely at Shyamalan’s feet. One has to wonder how the director of “The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable” and “Signs” could have stumbled so badly. He has gone from being a wunderkind of cinema to its abandoned stepchild, and I think success has spoiled him too much to where the creative freedom he has at his disposal needs to be reined in. This is the same guy who pulled off one of the most brilliant twists ever in a movie with “The Sixth Sense,” and now he has given us a summer blockbuster every bit as inept and infuriating as last year’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

Do I regret watching “The Last Airbender?” No, not really. It was worth it just to watch the finished result so I could analyze everything wrong with it. But with so many movies out there worth watching, I would encourage you to avoid this one at all costs. Watching paint dry will prove to be a far more invigorating experience. Better yet, watch the Nickelodeon animated television series it is based on instead. You do not need to convince me it is better than this cinematic atrocity.

Maybe Shyamalan should just direct for the time being. No more screenwriting. Lord knows how long it’s going to be before he gets over this creative disaster. Considering the talent involved, there’s no excuse for it to be this atrocious. None whatsoever.

ZERO out of * * * *

 

‘Glass’ Trailer Sees M. Night Shyamalan Completing a Superhero Trilogy

Glass teaser poster

Night Shyamalan has had a rather crazy career as a filmmaker as he has reached the heights of cinematic glory with “The Sixth Sense” and “Signs” and also traveled to its unforgiving depths with “The Last Airbender” and “After Earth.” In between those films was “Unbreakable,” his superhero thriller from the year 2000 in which Bruce Willis starred as a security guard who is the sole survivor of a horrific train crash, and Samuel L. Jackson as Elijah Price, a comic book art dealer who suffers from a rare disease which makes his bones extremely fragile and prone to fracture. I initially dismissed “Unbreakable” as the kind of lame effort from a filmmaker who pulled off one of the greatest twist endings in cinematic history. But in retrospect, it is truly one of his best films and perhaps even one of the best superhero movies ever.

Little did we know that with “Unbreakable,” Shyamalan had created his own cinematic universe. It continued with “Split” in which James McAvoy plays Kevin Wendell Crumb, a man suffering from dissociative identity disorder who has 23 personalities inside of him. And now, we have the first trailer for “Glass,” the third movie in Shyamalan’s superhero series which unites Willis, Jackson and McAvoy together in a way which looks very exciting and highly promising.

The first image from this “Glass” trailer is of Dr. Ellie Staple who is played by Sarah Paulson. Ever since her appearance in the HBO movie “Game Change,” she has become one of my favorite actresses, and it is enthralling to watch her talk with these three men. Her face is a study in both fascination and terror as she is eager to talk with these men even though she is clearly scared of all they are capable of doing.

Then we get a look at these three men in the same frame, and it likes an “Avengers” movie you didn’t know was coming. For McAvoy, this represents a return to playing a character much like the one Sally Field played in “Sybil.” For Willis, it presents another opportunity to escape the direct to video realm as the “Death Wish” remake didn’t quite do it for him. And for Jackson, he gets to reprise one of his best and most unusual roles as this “bad ass motherfucker” has an infinitely high IQ but an ever so fragile body which fails him far too often.

Seriously, this is the first M. Night Shyamalan film I have looked forward to seeing in over a decade, and I say this even though “Glass” is coming out in January 2019. January is typically the month where Hollywood dumps its cinematic garbage on us as they have no idea where else to put it. Still, this cannot be any worse than “The Last Airbender.”

Check out the trailer below.

 

Movies Mark Wahlberg Really Should Beg God’s Forgiveness for

Mark Wahlberg photo

While in Chicago where he shared the stage at the UIC Pavillion with Cardinal Blase Cupich, actor Mark Wahlberg said he prayed to God for forgiveness over starring in “Boogie Nights.” The 1997 film, which marked writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson’s cinematic breakthrough, starred Wahlberg as Eddie Adams, a high school dropout who later gained fame as porn star Dirk Diggler. Furthermore, he even apologized to the Pope for the crude humor in “Ted.” Wahlberg was quoted as saying, “I just always hope that God is a movie fan and also forgiving, because I’ve made some poor choices in my past.”

Sure Mark, you have made some poor choices, but most of them are relegated to your criminal youth. Your are a devout Roman Catholic and attend Mass on a regular basis, but I refuse to believe God would punish you for your work in a movie as brilliant as “Boogie Nights.” Besides, you succeeded in pulling off the ever so difficult transition from being a rap star (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch) to becoming a legitimate actor thanks to your astonishing performance opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in “The Basketball Diaries.” Since then, you have brought those “good vibrations” to a variety of roles in “The Departed,” “Three Kings,” “We Own the Night,” “The Yards,” and “Lone Survivor.”

Still, while your resume is filled with great movies, it is also littered with bad ones, and I’m stunned you haven’t asked God to forgive you for the following stinkers.

Planet of the Apes Mark Wahlberg poster

Planet of the Apes

Okay, Tim Burton really should be apologizing for this one more than you. The “Beetlejuice” director is a wonderfully unique filmmaker, but I kept having to remind myself he directed this surprisingly bland and forgettable remake of the 1968 classic starring Charlton Heston. Mark, you played astronaut Leo Davidson, and even your boundless energy couldn’t save this one as very little of what I saw remains in my consciousness. It is the equivalent of a McDonald’s Happy Meal in that, whether you enjoyed it or not, it leaves no lingering aftertaste. Even the movie’s twist ending is unremarkable, and I walked out of it wondering why Burton made something so average instead of wonderfully weird.

The Truth about Charlie poster

The Truth about Charlie

Hollywood may still be a remake-happy place with many classics being plundered for a new generation of filmgoers, but there are some this town needs to leave well enough alone. Among them is “Charade,” Stanley Donen’s classic 1963 film starring Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, but this didn’t stop the late Jonathan Demme from remaking it as “The Truth about Charlie.” Mark, you had as much luck playing the Cary Grant role here as Russell Crowe did in playing a romantic comedy lead in “A Good Year” which is to say, not at all. Please Mark, don’t try to be the next Cary Grant or even the next Robert De Niro. Just be yourself.

The Happening movie poster

The Happening

Oh lord, where do I start with this one? Following his box office flop “Lady in the Water,” M. Night Shyamalan continued his descent into cinematic oblivion with this thriller which failed in spectacular fashion. For you Mark, “The Happening” allowed you to play a schoolteacher, something different from what we usually see you as. Shyamalan, however, directs you to some of the worst acting of your career, and your performance became hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Heck, even you were quoted as saying, “It was a really bad movie…   Fuck it. It is what it is. Fucking trees, man. The plants. Fuck it. You can’t blame me for not wanting to try to play a science teacher. At least I wasn’t playing a cop or a crook.” God must have been scratching his head while and thinking there couldn’t be a more laughable environmental thriller than “The Day After Tomorrow” until this one came along.

Max Payne movie poster

Max Payne

Even by 2008, everyone had come to the conclusion adapting video games into movies was a bad idea and almost always doomed to failure. But this didn’t stop “A Good Day to Die Hard” director John Moore from turning one of Rockstar Games’ most popular titles into a neo-noir action thriller. Mark, you may have described the script for “Max Payne” as being awesome and the character as being one of the edgier roles you have ever played, but Jim Vejvoda was correct when he described your performance as “drab.” This came out the same year as “The Happening,” and you earned a Razzie nomination as Worst Actor for both. Couldn’t you see this adaptation would look like nothing more than a “Death Wish” knock-off?

Pain & Gain poster

Pain & Gain

You may still want to get God’s forgiveness for playing a porn star, but I’m surprised you won’t do the same for playing Daniel Lugo, a man convicted of extortion, kidnapping, torture, murder, and who is now serving a life sentence in prison. Just as with Dirk Diggler in “Boogie Nights,” you were just playing a character, but if you think God has a problem with porn actors, wouldn’t he have an even bigger problem with criminals like Lugo? Furthermore, this marked your first collaboration with the cinematic devil known as Michael Bay, someone who has laid waste to our innocent memories of Transformers toys. With “Pain & Gain,” Bay wanted to do something smaller, a character piece, but this director has never been good at doing things subtly. This black comedy was based on a true story, something Bay keeps reminding us of throughout, but things never gel here despite good performances from you, Dwayne Johnson and Anthony Mackie.

Transformers Mark Wahlberg Extinction poster

Transformers: Age of Extinction

After “Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” we thought Michael Bay was forever done with this franchise to where we breathed an enormous sigh of relief. But noooooo! He just had to start a new “Transformers” trilogy and drag you along, kicking and screaming I hope. All of our hopes and prayers for a good Michael Bay “Transformers” movie were not answered as “Age of Extinction” proved to be almost as bad as “Revenge of the Fallen” to where it didn’t take long for audiences to get completely numbed to all the endless explosions Bay couldn’t stop setting off. Your line of “I think we just found a Transformer” is the only thing I can bother to remember from this misfire, and this isn’t saying much.

Ted 2 poster

Ted 2

I loved “Ted” as I always dreamed of having a living and breathing stuffed animal in my life. And Mark, seeing you and the teddy bear getting into a nasty fight remains one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen in a motion picture. But with “Ted 2,” it really seemed like you and Seth MacFarlane were just phoning it in. The “Flash Gordon” jokes fall flat here, and this sequel is desperately missing Mila Kunis. As for you getting covered in sperm samples at a lab, you are so much better than that.

Transformers The Last Knight movie poster

Transformers: The Last Knight

Mark, you said this “Transformers” sequel will mark your last appearance in the franchise, and I pray to the heavens above that you keep this promise. No amount of energy you brought to the role of Cade Yeager is enough to divert us from the fact “The Last Knight” is astonishingly incomprehensible. Did the studio executives even question Michael Bay about this film? Even now, I laugh hysterically over how incoherent the storyline is. Thanks to its disappointing box office, this may mark Bay’s end with the franchise, an end which should have come after the first film.

Mark, you probably are not reading this article, but I do admire your work as an actor, and you have given terrific performances recently in “Deepwater Horizon” and “Patriots Day.” You shouldn’t have to apologize for your work in a truly great film. Instead, you should beg God’s forgiveness for all the bad ones you got stuck in. Even the one you pray to cannot understand the plot of “Transformers: The Last Knight,” so seek your penance for that one and all the others on this list. Thanks, and God be with you.