Crystal Lake

The ‘Friday the 13th’ Reboot – Jason is Vicious, But the Movie is Bland

Posted on by The Ultimate Rabbit

WRITER’S NOTE: This review was written back in 2009 when this reboot was released.

What better way to spend Singles Awareness Day (a.k.a. Valentine’s Day) than with an old friend who butchers camp counselors because they didn’t keep him from drowning, or supposedly so? I somehow doubt you can call this latest slasher adventure of Jason Voorhees a remake. Each sequel to the original “Friday the 13th” was basically a reworking of the first sequel which introduced Jason as the main killer of the franchise. Watching each successive sequel has been like witnessing a perverted sports event. How is Jason going to kill off those promiscuous teenagers? What weapons will he use? Will the ladies be as cute as they were in the previous movie? Will the guys be every bit as gullible as before? I think this is what makes people keep coming back to this never-ending franchise. We are curious to see how Jason will dispatch his latest batch of victims before he gets laid waste to by the final girl. John Carpenter said evil never dies, and Jason Voorhees is proof of this.

This “Friday the 13th” comes to us from Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay’s film company which made such unnecessary remakes of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “The Hitcher” and “The Amityville Horror.” A lot of people complain about Bay the director, but I am more worried about Bay the producer. Still, the idea of bringing back Jason was too intriguing even for me to pass up.

In this particular “Friday,” Jason more threatening here than he has been in ages. For the last few movies, he has become a figure of such unbridled camp that he comes across as more of a joke. Here, he is as vicious as ever. This Jason does not just walk at lightning speed like he did in “Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.” Here, he thrusts his weapons and impales his victims with sheer velocity. His mommy issues have never been more deeply rooted than they have been since the franchise first began.

The movie starts off more or less condensing the original, as it was Jason’s mother who was the brutal killer in that one. We see Jason’s mother, played by Nana Visitor from “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” (never piss off a Bajoran), get decapitated by the one camp counselor, female of course, who she couldn’t kill. We all know how seriously pissed she was at the counselors who let her son Jason drown, and now Jason will carry on her vengeance. The prologue is much longer than I ever could have expected, and in it we meet a bunch of kids who are seriously interested in obtaining a huge quantity of marijuana. Jason, however, is there with a bag over his head, the iconic hockey mask gets introduced later, killing off potential profiteers. It made wonder if Jason was actually a drug dealer as he apparently lives near such a big farm of green.

These kids meet a gruesome end (is there any other kind?), and the movie then moves ahead a couple of months to introduce us to a new set of victims. These ones though are not there to be camp counselors, but instead to stay in a house by the lake to have a “relaxing” weekend. The house belongs to the father of a snobby little spoiled brat named Trent (Travis Van Winkle), and his name wreaks of snobbery whether he likes it or not. Along with him is his girlfriend Jenna (Danielle Panabaker) who has no business being with a guy like him, an Asian smarty named Chewie (Aaron Yoo) who has yet to get laid, and a couple others who, whether they get laid or not, will most likely not live through the weekend. You also have the sole black man, Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta), who loves to mess with white people and their prejudices they are blind to. Arlen has one of the best lines of dialogue, and you will know it when you hear it.

What makes this particular “Friday the 13th” different from the others? Not much. It has the requisite killings and naked breasts. Sean S. Cunningham, the director of the original, is along for the ride as a producer, and he is intent on giving the audience what they expect from a movie like this. What makes this franchise reboot different is it is a lot bleaker and more unrelenting than the other sequels.

Marcus Nispel directed this installment, and he also directed the Platinum Dunes remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” He gives it a washed out look, and it gives the proceedings a more realistic feel as well as a foreboding one. The tension is thick in the air, and even though the scares are pretty much where you would expect them to be. The killings are effectively brutal, but Nispel doesn’t dwell so much on the blood and gore as much as you might expect.

As for the characters, they really didn’t stick in mind for long after I left the theater. That’s the problem with movies like these. Not that I expect them to be in depth character studies, but it is clear these characters are presented as being ones who are quickly disposable. There are those who you want to live through the night, and there are others whose demise constantly root for, especially Trent. In the end, they are all fair sport for Jason who kills everything in his path. Having an Asian and a black character also shows how this masked killer knows no racial boundaries when it comes to slashing trespassers. After all these years, Jason Voorhees remains an equal opportunity murderer.

Jason is played in this incarnation by Derek Mears, an actor who played the Chameleon character in that awful sequel, “The Hills Have Eyes 2.” I liked how he gave Jason a fury we have not seen from in over a decade. Not that I want to take away from Kane Hodder, but Mears gives Jason a viciousness which makes him feel more dangerous than ever before.

Regardless of these positives, there is nothing particularly special to this “Friday the 13th.” Despite a higher standard of production values the other sequels never got, it still feels like an ordinary run of the mill slasher movie to where the one word I can best describe it as being is bland. It’s the kind of movie which doesn’t stay in the brain too long after you have seen it. While Jason may be more threatening than ever, it is not enough to make this movie seem altogether satisfying.

Also, I am really getting sick of this plot device in which cell phones do not work. I find it hard to believe there are places on this planet which do not have cell phone signals. Granted, the Hollywood Hills never seem to have them, but still, while this scenario worked fine in “The Hills Have Eyes” remake, this singular excuse to isolate these dumb characters continues to get weaker and weaker.

For what it’s worth, this is the first “Friday the 13th” movie I have ever seen in a theater. I always kept hearing about these movies as a kid, and I was fascinated with them even while Siskel & Ebert kept tearing them apart as “cynical filmmaking.” It took me a while to get around to actually watching them, and even then, I had the volume turned down. I also kept hearing from my friends how people reacted during them. One told me how, when he saw “Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood,” everyone started a chant when it looked like the most unlikable character, a horribly spoiled girl with no manners whatsoever, was about to get killed off. This led the audience members to start chanting:

“Kill the bitch, kill the bitch, kill the bitch, kill the bitch, KILL THE BITCH! KILL THE BITCH!! KILL THE BITCH!!! KILL THE BITCH!!!!!!”

That would have been fun to witness, and the fact that this “Friday the 13th” movie did not have it took away from the experience. While I admire how they made Jason more lethal, part of me missed the tongue in cheek qualities of this franchise. You know, the moments which reminded you it was just a movie, and how some critics take them way too seriously. Looking back, I feel like I missed out on something.

Jason should really engage in a group therapy session with Norman Bates because they have more in common than they realize. Of course, Jason doesn’t talk, but maybe Norman could get him to or perhaps teach him sign language. Hey, anything is possible, right?

* * out of * * * *

‘Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter’ – Yeah, Whatever

Posted on by The Ultimate Rabbit

Friday the 13th Part IV The Final Chapter movie poster

I was in the second grade when this movie came out in 1984. It was also one of the few movies in this endless series to actually open on Friday the 13th. Looking back, it was interesting to see 8 and 9-year-old kids get excited about a movie they had no business watching at that age. Whether adults liked it or not, these movies played a big part in our lives, and they were to my generation as the “Saw” and “Paranormal Activity” movies are to today’s. The sight of bloody violence on the big screen, as opposed to real life, is still exciting to watch, and this has been the case for much longer than we realize.

“Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter” was the first film in what became known as the Tommy Jarvis trilogy, the other two being “Part V: A New Beginning” and “Part VI: Jason Lives.” Tommy is played here by Corey Feldman in a gleeful performance as he delights in making scary masks he can hide behind, but this glee eventually becomes undone by Jason’s bloody rampage. This film marked the beginning of Tommy’s descent into madness which was eventually cut short by a much-needed franchise retcon after “Part V.”

When Jason got an ax to the head in “Part 3-D,” it was the first time in the franchise in which he actually got killed off. Jason didn’t appear in “Friday the 13th” until the very end when he gave us one of the biggest jump scares in movie history, and he wasn’t even killed off in “Part II.” Sure, he got his ass kicked, but it was not a fatal blow for he was slowly grabbing his machete as the virginal heroes walked away. When “Part III” came along, it was assumed Jason finally met his maker. That is, until Paramount Pictures realized they made $36 million off a movie with a $2.5 million budget.

When “The Final Chapter” starts, the police have arrived at Crystal Lake and Jason, wearing the hockey mask first introduced in “Part III,” is being shipped off to the morgue. When he arrives at the hospital, he is left in the care of the biggest slob of a doctor/coroner ever, Axel (Bruce Mahler). Seeing him slobber all over his burrito while watching women in skin tight spandex clothing doing aerobics makes one wonder how he got hired in the first place. For some bizarre reason Axel ends up making out with Nurse Morgan (Lisa Freeman) even though she is utterly repulsed by him. Then again, if common sense was used by any of the characters, this movie would not exist. These two get murdered (big surprise), and Jason somehow makes it pass security with his hockey mask on and heads back to Crystal Lake.

Actually, he ends up going next door to Crystal Lake and drops in on a mother and her two kids who have rented a house next to another where a bunch of teens are looking to have a good time which includes drinking beer, smoking pot, watching vintage porno movies, having as much premarital sex as possible and indulging in some mandatory skinny dipping. You know, the normal weekend one has in Las Vegas. You know what happens next; Jason proceeds to do his Benihana act on everybody like a drunk with power landlord who never hesitates to evict tenants who haven’t paid their rent in months.

The “Friday the 13th” movies usually feature actors you never hear from again, but aside from Feldman there is another actor who still works a lot: Crispin Glover. He plays Jimmy, a man who has had no real luck with women. Throughout the movie, he keeps getting woman advice from Ted (Lawrence Monoson) who seems to know everything about them. Guess who gets laid first. No, it’s not who you think…or maybe it is.

It’s a kick to watch Glover here, as “The Final Chapter” came out before he hit it big as George McFly in “Back to the Future.” You also gotta dig his great spastic dance moves which more or less predated the break dancing era. No one dances like he does, and no one else dies like he does in this movie. Could he be as strange as the characters he plays? Maybe so, but these days he seems to be using his strangeness to good effect.

Of course, we always look forward to Jason laying waste to these unsuspecting teenagers, and he definitely gets a number of seriously nasty cuts in which were probably even nastier until the MPAA came in and said “no I don’t think so.”

One classic moment features a guy getting it right in the groin. Oh to be in a theater when this scene was displayed on the silver screen. It’s one of the few times where you can see a whole audience of men grab their crotches, thankful it was not them who suddenly got turned into falsetto singers. There is also a nice shower scene as well which ends with Jason doing a Norman Bates routine. It’s not as suspenseful as “Psycho,” but it sure is a lot bloodier!

Much has been said over the years of how sexist the “Friday the 13th” movies are towards women. Granted, some female characters are treated like sex objects with magnificent bodies who are out to seduce whatever men end up getting locked in their crosshairs. But at the same time, these movies feature women as being the bravest and most heroic of the bunch. They’re the ones who find the to defeat Jason after everyone else has failed because they were busy making out or doing drugs. Why do critics keep forgetting it’s typically a lone woman who is left alive after all this bloody carnage has reached its inevitable conclusion?

This “Friday the 13th” sequel is also notable for being the last one Tom Savini did the makeup effects for. Having worked on many horror films like “Dawn of the Dead” and “Maniac,” his work has a realism to it as uncomfortable as it is brutally effective. This is even more so when you look at the rest of the sequels where the kills began to look fake and were played for laughs. Apparently, Savini based a lot of his work on what he saw as a combat photographer and soldier in Vietnam, so there is a real authenticity to his work we cannot ignore.

The director for “The Final Chapter” was Joseph Zito, and his credits include “Missing in Action,” “Invasion U.S.A.” and “Red Scorpion.” Zito is one of those workmen-like directors who gets the job done and simply gives the audience what they want. Other than that, his style of directing doesn’t have any distinguishing characteristics.

Playing the immortal Jason Voorhees in “The Final Chapter” is Ted White, but you wouldn’t know it since he had his name taken off the credits. White was selected for the role because he is a big guy (6′ 4″ tall), and he said he only did it for the money. But White, for what it’s worth, gave this film a brutal and seriously terrifying Jason which ranks among the series’ best. He may not have been happy while working on this one, but White has no business thinking this “Friday the 13th” sequel was a waste of his time. After all, he could have been in “Jason X.”

While this sequel is certainly dated stylistically, it holds up better than many of the others. It was also the last “Friday the 13th” movie which was truly scary, and the series more or less went downhill from there. Even if it got a lot of the predictable hatred from film critics, it is nowhere as bad as some of the later entries, let alone the even cheaper knock offs it inspired.

“Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter” is a movie most people like more than they would ever openly admit. Call it a guilty pleasure if you will, but it is an entertaining one even if it rots your brain like others accuse it of doing. Any guy who tells you they hate these movies has got to be lying to a certain extent, especially when they are just going out the door to see the latest horror movie sequel. They’ll say it’s different, but c’mon! Who are they trying to fool?

* * * out of * * * *