I keep thinking of “The Simpsons” episode where Homer and Marge try to teach Bart and Lisa about how great love is. But in the process of looking over their kids’ experience with love, they end up doing more damage than good. Marge reminds Bart of when he had a crush on the older girl who lived next door, and it ends up taking us to the scene where said girl tells Bart how excited she is because she now has a boyfriend. Then you have that imagined scene where the she pulls Bart’s heart out of his chest and throws it to the ground. Back to reality, Bart tells his well-meaning mother:

“Thanks for reopening old wounds mom!”

That whole episode was going through my head as I watched Marc Webb’s “(500) Days of Summer.” I found it to be one of the most intimate portrayals of the amazing highs and debilitating, and we are talking seriously debilitating, lows of love and relationships. This has been called by some as “Annie Hall” for a new generation and, along with “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” it is one of the best films I have seen about the messiness of relationships.

The story centers on the touching yet odd relationship between Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Summer Finn, two co-workers employed at one of those Hallmark greeting card companies. Webb and the film’s screenwriters, Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, have also taken the approach of showing this relationship in a non-linear format, going from when Tom and Summer break up to when they first met and then back and forth in time to where moments inform both the past and the present, let alone the future.

Webb has said this film is more a coming-of-age story than a romantic comedy. Still, a large part of me would like to call it the latter as it puts so many others of this desecrated genre to utter shame. They all revolve around the same kinds of characters who are complete opposites, and they remain to where each film is indistinguishable from the next. While many may find comfort in always knowing how the story ends, I find it depressing and at times shallow and false. This one doesn’t work like that though.

Neustadter has admitted this is based on a real relationship he had, and of the love and brutal heartbreak that came went with it. With Summer, we see a person whose belief in true love was shattered following her parents’ divorce. With Tom, his belief in true love came about after completing misinterpreting the climax of “The Graduate.” As a result, this film has characters I can truly relate to.

“(500) Days of Summer” has many wonderful moments which vividly capture the different stages of a relationship. While we remember more of what went wrong than right, the moments of happiness stand out just as powerfully. There’s a great moment where Tom Hansen is on his way to work, and it then turns into a hilarious musical number done to Hall & Oates’ “You Make My Dreams Come True.” Yes, you can always count on songs from the 1980’s to lift up your spirits to an unrealistically high.

The moments where we see Tom in a state of depression ring much truer than I would ever care to admit. Romantic rejection can make one feel so completely worthless, and it takes forever to dig oneself out of that dark emotional hellhole. I think this is why most romance movies today are comedies, because we have to laugh at these things at times so they don’t drive us crazy. All of this reminds of a great piece of dialogue uttered by Ned Beatty from “Homicide-Life on the Street:”

“A woman can affect a man totally. How woman feels about a man, that’s how he’s gonna feel about himself, his friends, his job.”

As Tom Hansen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is perfectly cast and comes across as likable without ever being overly obnoxious. Every emotional moment he experiences here rings true to what we have experienced in our own lives, and it is done with complete conviction. The moment where we he is running down the street after seeing his expectations ruined by reality is bound to bring back the worst pain you have felt when you realize a relationship has ended, permanently.

Then you have Zooey Deschanel who has the loveliest eyes of any actress I can think of off the top of my head. She really stole my heart as Summer, a young woman who has been conditioned to believe in anything but true love. While she clearly likes Tom Hansen, she cannot bring herself to love him because it can never seem real to her. Deschanel has such a lovingly sweet presence, and it makes Levitt’s constant yearning for her very understandable.

These two characters are really good, if not perfect, together, and I love the unforced way they become a couple. The chemistry between Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel is wonderful, and seeing them here made me want to see these two to stick it out together. That they don’t is a painful reminder of how unfair love can be, and of how Trent Reznor sings about him wanting something he can never have.

Webb, who would later go on to direct the two “Amazing Spider-Man” movies, gives “(500) Days of Summer” a beautiful look which captures the rollercoaster of moods witnessed throughout. With this film, which was his feature film directorial debut, he shows he can balance out getting strong visuals with getting great performances from his actors.

While romantic comedies remain a damaged genre to where I still find myself running away from them at full speed to this very day, “(500) Days of Summer” gives me hope that they can be better. But better yet, here’s hoping humans can find a connection with other humans despite the advances in technology and social media. This film came out before those things really took hold of our lives.

* * * * out of * * * *