‘The Blob’ 1988 Movie and Blu-ray Review

The-Blob-blu-ray-shout-factory-cover

The following article was written by Ultimate Rabbit correspondent Tony Farinella.

If you are a fan of 1980’s horror films, you know Shout Factory/Scream Factory gives them the proper treatment each and every single time as they are like the Criterion Collection for horror fans.  They go above and beyond the call of duty with their commitment to the audio and visual aspects of cult classic horror films, and they supply their Blu-rays with tons of special features.  They understand you want to know as much as possible about your favorite horror films, and they have done it once again with their collector’s edition of “The Blob,” a remake of the original film which starred Steve McQueen back in 1958.

With this version of “The Blob,” it shows the advancements made at the time in gore and special effects. I don’t think it is fair to necessarily compare the two films since they were released thirty-years apart.   One thing they both have in common is they are very enjoyable to watch.  I own both of them.  I have the Criterion Collection version of the 1958 film, and I am thrilled to add the remake to my collection from Scream Factory/Shout Factory.  The gore is also taken up a notch here, and it is sticky, gooey, bloody and completely over the top in the best possible way.

“The Blob” is, of course, a film about a disgusting life-form which comes to a town by the name of Arborville.  It is your normal town with a football team, local diner, police and cheerleaders, some of which you would just love to date.   Shawnee Smith plays Meg Penny, the local cheerleader who is your girl-next-door type.  Her father works at the pharmacy, and she is going on a date with football star Paul Taylor (Donovan Leitch Jr.) when they notice something terrible happening all around them. The character blamed for all of this is Brian Flagg who is played by Kevin Dillon, brother of Matt Dillon, and from “Entourage.”  He is the bad boy with a motorcycle, and he has a total kickass 80’s haircut. The police can’t wait to put the blame on him, but he is completely and totally innocent.

The blob will eat and destroy anything that gets in its way. You never know when it is going to appear or when it will strike.  It is part of a political experiment being overseen by shady scientists with their own agenda, and they are not concerned about the people.  The blob started by attaching itself to an old man’s arm, and from there the devastation only increased.  It is self-aware enough to have a running time of 95 minutes so the pace is right on point, the kills are interesting and disgusting, and it never feels boring.

Major props go out to Shawnee Smith as she gives a truly committed performance which should remind you of her work as Amanda from the “Saw” franchise.  Kevin Dillon is solid as well because he knows how to make this character likable but with an edge. He is someone you would want on your side when the blob hits the fan, if you catch my drift.  The effects are also terrific considering the time period this film was released in. The only time the green screen is very, very noticeable is near the end, but even then, it is campy fun.

This was my first time seeing the remake of “The Blob,” and I love both movies.  It is great when they get a second home on Blu-ray as well as the proper treatment courtesy of Shout/Scream Factory. There is also just the right amount of humor when the moment calls for it as well.  Fun fact: The screenplay was co-written by Frank Darabont of “The Green Mile,” “The Walking Dead,” and “The Shawshank Redemption.” This flick is able to gross you out while keeping you entertained and laughing as well, and this is not an easy accomplishment to pull off.  However, everyone stepped up their game on this film, and it shows in the final product.  I cannot recommend this movie enough if you have not seen it in the past, or if you have seen it and want to own it in this tremendous format.

* * * ½ out of * * * *

______________________________________________________________________________

Special Features:

Audio commentary with director Chuck Russell, special effects artist Tony Gardner and cinematographer Mark Irwin, moderated by filmmaker Joe Lynch

Audio commentary with actress Shawnee Smith

“It Fell From the Sky!” – an interview with director Chuck Russell

“We Have Work to Do” – an interview with actor Jeffrey DeMunn

“Minding the Dinner” – an interview with actress Candy Clark

“They Call Me Mellow Purple” – an interview with actor Donovan Leitch Jr.

“Try to Scream!” – an interview with actor Bill Moseley

“Shot Him!” – an interview with cinematographer Mark Irwin

“The Incredible Melting Man” – an interview with special effects artist Tony Gardner

“Monster Math” – an interview with special effects supervisor Christopher Gilman

“Haddonfield to Arborville” – an interview with production designer Craig Stearns

“The Secret of the Ooze” – an interview with mechanical designer Mark Setrakian

I Want that Organism Alive! – an interview with Blob mechanic Peter Abrahamson

“Gardner’s Grue Crew” – behind-the-scenes footage of Tony Gardner and his team

Audio Commentary with director Chuck Russell, moderated by film producer Ryan Turek

Theatrical Trailers

TV Spot

Still Gallery

Blu-Ray Info: “The Blob (1988)” is released on a Collector’s Edition Blu-Ray from Shout Factory/Scream Factory.  The film is rated R and has a running time of 95 minutes.

Audio Info: The audio is DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1.  For a film that is thirty-one years old, it sounds terrific.  All of the dialogue between the actors is easy to understand without any issues whatsoever.  When the gory scenes come up, they also have a real sizzle to them as well. Subtitles are in English.

Video Info: The 1080p High-Definition Widescreen (1.85:1) transfer is out of this world.  There are no signs of grain, dust, or dirt when watching this film.  It is incredibly clear and vibrant on screen.

Should You Buy It?

With so many special features on this wildly fun flick, it’s a no brainer when it comes to buying “The Blob (1988).”  I wish I had seen this movie sooner, but to be honest, I didn’t even know there was a remake of the original until recently.  I’m glad there is and that Shout/Scream Factory is there to make it available for purchase for hardcore horror fans such as myself and so many others out there.   The film is a gory ride which has a very satisfying and fun conclusion. You always get your money’s worth and then some with Shout Factory/Scream Factory titles, so you will not be disappointed when you pick this one up.  As a matter of fact, it would make a great double feature with the original flick.

 

Noah Segan Talks About Playing Kid Blue in ‘Looper’

Noah Segan in Looper

WRITER’S NOTE: This article was written back in 2012.

While Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis and Emily Blunt get top billing in Rian Johnson’s “Looper,” one actor in the cast to keep an eye on is Noah Segan who plays Kid Blue. Segan previously worked with Johnson on “Brick” and “The Brothers Bloom,” and it turns out the writer/director wrote the part of Kid Blue with Segan in mind. While his role might seem small, Segan took his time to develop the character, and he is bound to leave a very memorable impression on audiences as a result.

Kid Blue is an assassin like Levitt’s character, and he loves wielding his six shooter which makes him look like a cowboy along the lines of Billy the Kid. While audiences will see Kid Blue as being one of the villains of this film, Segan sees the role a bit differently.

“I play an antagonist, I wouldn’t want to go so far as to call him a villain,” Segan said. “A little spoiler: nobody is that good in this movie. Everybody is some form of bad and has some villainous traits; some for better reasons than others. I would say the easiest comparison is if you’re ready for a cat-and-mouse game between Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, get ready for me to be the bulldog chasing both of them.”

What people will remember best about Kid Blue is how he is always carrying with him an old-fashioned six shooter gun. The character loves to show it off as it makes him look like a bad ass, but he is also famous for accidentally shooting one of his feet off with it. Segan took the time to describe the gun his character loves to wield in more detail.

“The Gatmen Gun, the gun that I use, is a very modern take on another classic weapon: a single-action revolver,” said Segan. “It isn’t a Colt 45, but the same thing that people carried in the Civil War and in the Old West; very elegant, perfectly made revolvers that, in the case of ‘Looper,’ happened to use ammunition usually reserved for big game hunting. Our bullets, that are a .45-70 caliber bullet, are not put into handguns. They’re made for giant rifles that are designed to take trophies home, or shoot at a tank. Rian found this company that makes these sort of novelty, single-action revolvers in this caliber and then had them adjusted for the Gatmen, and had them powder-coated black. In my case, I had mine chromed out with a flat-sight and a wooden grip reminiscent of a western gun that my character would want to use.”

What makes this especially interesting is “Looper” takes place in the year 2044, and yet Kid Blue seems to be stuck in a past which no longer exists. During a press junket for the movie which took place at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, Segan talked of the contrast between the future this character lives in and how he emulates famous ones from history.

“I’m playing someone in the future who is obsessed with the past which is a big theme of the movie overall,” said Segan. “In my case, it’s very aesthetic. Having things you can touch, having blue jeans in the future, having cowboy boots in the future and my revolver in the future, it’s stuff that’s real easy to look at and play with. There’s a scene in the movie where I roll a cigarette with real rolling papers and smoke that. There’s something very tactile and something that almost doesn’t even exist today. It was very helpful, but everything that was there felt that way.”

It also turns out Kid Blue is actually Segan’s nickname in real life. His friend Paul Sado ended up introducing him to a 1973 movie called “Kid Blue” which stars Dennis Hopper, Warren Oates, Ben Johnson, Lee Purcell, and Peter Boyle. After watching it, Segan said it became his favorite movie.

“There’s humor in the film, but it’s about change. It’s about adulthood and it stuck with me, and people started calling me Kid Blue,” Segan said. “Rian Johnson sent me the first draft of ‘Looper’ years ago. I opened it up and there it was on whatever page – Kid Blue. I called him up, and I said, what’s that? He said, ‘that’s you.’ It really works with this character. It’s a guy who’s sort of a bumbling diligent failure. In ‘Kid Blue,’ Hopper plays that up for comedy, and in ‘Looper,’ I sort of play up for pathos. I’m unimaginably trying to emulate Dennis Hopper.”

Noah Segan proves with his performance in “Looper” how there are no small roles, only small actors. On the surface it might seem like his character of Kid Blue is nothing than a one-dimensional bad guy, but Segan makes him much more than what was on the page. This is a testament to his preparation for the role which was thought out well and very creative. On the basis of his performance, it is certain we can expect many more from Segan in the near future.

SOURCES:

Samuel Zimmerman, “Q&A: Noah Segan on guns, gore and style of ‘Looper,’” Fangoria, September 28, 2012.

“Looper” press junket at Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, September 25, 2012.

Chase Whale, “10 Things ‘Looper’ Star Noah Segan Told Us About ‘Looper’ Star Noah Segan,” Film.com, September 25, 2012.

 

All-Time Favorite Trailers: ‘Cliffhanger’

The 1990’s were not a kind decade to Sylvester Stallone. “Rocky V,” which was supposed to be Stallone’s last go around as Rocky Balboa (LOL), proved to be a critical and commercial disappointment, and his foray into comedy with “Oscar” and “Stop or My Mom Will Shoot” was disastrous to say the least. Clearly, Stallone was in serious need of a comeback as well as a return to the dramatic action movies he became best known for. As a result, he teamed up with “Die Hard 2” director Renny Harlin and Carolco Pictures to star in the action adventure film “Cliffhanger,” and the first trailer made for it remains forever burned into my memory.

The genius of this teaser trailer was how the filmmakers scored the images to Mozart’s “Dies Irae,” a powerful piece of music which served to make this movie seem more epic than it ended up being. There is no dialogue to be heard here as the focus is on the snowy mountain landscape which proves to be as beautiful an environment as it is a brutal one for those unprepared to deal with its frigid temperatures. As we watch Stallone and his fellow cast members John Lithgow, Michael Rooker, Leon and Janine Turner battling the elements which range from climbing up a mountain without a winter jacket or being trapped in a cold lake beneath a thick sheet of ice, it made “Cliffhanger” look like the end all of mountain movies as it captured a reality which is usually faked on a Hollywood soundstage.

Then there is the trailer’s final image of Stallone making a death-defying leap from one mountain side to another, and it’s a fantastic visual to close out on before the movie’s title comes up. Watching him do this quickly reminded me of when he performed similar feats as John Rambo in “First Blood” and its sequels as he the situations Rambo was caught up in were not entirely realistic, but Stallone’s physicality and performance made us believe he one could survive such impossible circumstances to where stopped asking questions and just went along for the ride.

Of course, upon learning Stallone had co-wrote the screenplay, I went in to see “Cliffhanger” with reduced expectations as I figured it would be a variation on the story he writes about more often than not of a man haunted by a tragedy and of his need for redemption. The movie did prove to be very entertaining, but it was not as deep and epic as this trailer promised. Regardless, I look back on this particular trailer very fondly as I said to myself after watching it, “Now that’s how you sell a movie!”

Cliffhanger teaser poster

‘Looper’ – From the Director of ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’

Looper movie poster

Rian Johnson’s “Looper” is an ingenious movie which combines the genres of noir, science-fiction and western into a mind twister of a film which will have you enthralled throughout. It reminds you of all those time travels movies you grew up watching, and yet it feels very original when compared to them. It also proves Johnson is a creative filmmaking force to reckon with, and it gives each cast member an opportunity to give their best performance in any film they appeared in during 2012.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Joe Simmons, an assassin in the year 2044 who works for the mafia and kills agents sent back from the year 2072. In this future, time travel is possible and also illegal, and the mob takes advantage of it to get rid of their garbage. The movie’s title refers to the kind of assassin Joe is, a foot soldier who is paid on the condition their targets never escape. They are given a shotgun called a Blunderbuss which doesn’t have much of a range but it is powerful enough to kill a person up close. When “Looper” starts, Joe looks to have been doing this for a while and has been living the good life as a result.

Things, however, change drastically when the mob decides to “close the loop” by sending back the Loopers’ future versions of themselves to eliminate. Joe ends up coming into contact with an older version of himself (played by Bruce Willis), and the old Joe escapes before young Joe can get him in his sights. From there, the young Joe is on the run as he has searches for his older self in order to get the mob off his back and live to see another day, so to speak.

To say more will spoil some of “Looper’s” most inventive moments as it is full of surprises you don’t see coming. The story looks to have been very well thought out, and its focus is more on the characters than anything else. Also, it creates a future which looks futuristic and yet not far removed from our present. Some movies can alienate you with their overreliance on special effects, but “Looper” isn’t out to blow you away visually. Instead, it finds its most potent moments involving the insane situations Levitt and Willis find themselves in.

Seeing Levitt and Willis face off in a diner gives us one of the most riveting scenes in any movie released in 2012. Considering how brutal they are to each other throughout “Looper,” I couldn’t help but think: talk about being hard on yourself!

Time travel as a concept has been done to death in movies, and Johnson is fully aware of how familiar audiences are of the rules surrounding it. I loved how he used this familiarity to his advantage here as it makes “Looper” easier to follow than it might seem at first. Johnson also succeeds in juggling different storylines to great effect as things could have burned out creatively speaking before the end credits came up. You go into “Looper” thinking it’s about time travel, but then it becomes about something else entirely. It is a film which demands to be seen multiple times for you to take in all its meanings.

Levitt had a fantastic year so far in 2012 with terrific performances in “The Dark Knight Rises,” “Premium Rush” and “Lincoln,” but “Looper” was truly the icing on the cake for him. As the young Joe Simmons, he gets one of his meatiest roles ever as an assassin who’s a drug addict (what’s in those eye drops anyway?), but who still has a conscience even after all the damage he has done to himself and others. While the prosthetics on his face, which were used to make him look more Willis, are a bit awkward to take in at first, Levitt gives the role his all and looks thrilled to able to transform himself into a character like this.

So much has been said about Bruce Willis over the years as his role as John McClane from “Die Hard” will forever be burned into our consciousness, but seeing him as old Joe in “Looper” reminds us of what a great actor he can be. His Joe is driven to correct the past so he can save the future he has built up for himself, but it also forces him to do things which leave him morally conflicted. Seeing the pain which crosses Willis’ face makes us root for him somewhat in “Looper” even as his character goes seriously astray with his deadly actions.

Then there’s Emily Blunt who plays hard bitten single mom Sara, and she is an incredibly powerful even when she is not wielding a heavy-duty shotgun. Blunt has been a continually wonderful presence in each movie she’s appeared in, and here she gets to be both bad-ass and very vulnerable. Her scenes with Pierce Gagnon, the 5-year old actor who is amazing as her son Cid, are as emotionally powerful as they are deeply suspenseful.

There are also other terrific performances to be found in “Looper” from actors like Paul Dano who plays the neurotic assassin Seth, and Noah Segan who channels Billy the Kid into his role of a six-shooter carrying killer named Kid Blue. And there’s no forgetting the great Jeff Daniels who brings both danger and humor to his role of mob boss Abe. Some are surprised to see Daniels in this kind of role given how he has been typically cast as nice guys in movies, but keep in mind, this is the same guy who played the most embittered of writers in “The Squid and The Whale.”

It’s a treat for moviegoers that a film as endlessly inventive as “Looper” got produced in a time where creativity was at a cinematic low. Everyone involved in this picture clearly came to it with tremendous enthusiasm, and it shows in every single second which unfolds before us. It is not only one of the best movies of 2012, but also one of the best time travel movies ever made. And watching it again makes me all the more excited for Johnson’s biggest movie yet, “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.”

* * * * out of * * * *

Trainspotting 2

Trainspotting 2 poster

I actually found myself getting choked up while watching “Trainspotting 2,” a sequel I long believed would never become a reality. The original 1996 film featured youthful characters bursting with life as they inject heroin into their veins and create chaos for everyone and each other. Now it’s 20 years later, and these same characters are now middle-aged and struggling with a future which looks to leave them behind. They are dealing with regrets which eat at them, and are still stuck in a past which constantly gnaws at their conscience. While I can’t say I relate to all the adventures Renton, Sick Boy, Spud and Begbie have gone through, I can certainly relate to their current state of mind as their lives are at an impasse to where they have to ask themselves the question David Byrne brought up in a Talking Heads song, “Well, how did I get here?”

When we last saw the “Trainspotting” gang, Renton (Ewan McGregor) had absconded with the money they scored through a heroin deal, and he was determined to go straight and engage in a much more stable lifestyle. “Trainspotting 2” starts with him running on a treadmill only to trip and fall, and it’s enough to show he is not the same man he was before. He has lived in Amsterdam all this time with his wife, but now he is getting divorced and finds his job security to be very shaky, to say the least. Feeling lost in modern society, he decides to return home to Edinburgh, Scotland in an effort to make amends with family and friends.

Everyone is still back in Edinburgh doing their thing. Sick Boy runs a bar which is lucky to have many, if any, patrons walking through the door. In his spare time, he engages in blackmail schemes with his partner and girlfriend, Veronika Kovach (Anjela Nedyalkova). Daniel Murphy/Spud is still in the throes of his heroin addiction which has long since estranged him from his partner Gail and their son Fergus. As for Francis “Franco” Begbie, he has been in prison all this time and just received news that his parole did not go through. So, like any pissed off inmate, he escapes and heads back to Edinburgh to get revenge on those who betrayed him long ago.

When “Trainspotting” came out 20 years ago, it represented a fresh burst of filmmaking energy and felt so different from anything else playing at your local cinema. Director Danny Boyle and screenwriter John Hodge once again take the works of author Irvine Welsh, in this case his novels “Trainspotting” and “Porno,” to create a motion picture pulsating with an energy lacking in so many others out right now. The fact they can’t quite equal the energy of the original is not a surprise as many imitators came in its wake, and what was once subversive now feels much less so. But I think Boyle intended for this sequel to have a different energy for those reasons as things are different now for the characters and ourselves.

“Trainspotting 2” does traffic in nostalgia as several references to the original are made throughout, but it doesn’t get stuck there to where it comes across as a mere copy of what came before. Moreover, Boyle and Hodge show how these characters are stuck in a past they never fully escaped from. I also have to say it is daring of them to show these characters at this stage in their life as Hollywood is typically afraid of ageism more than they would ever legally admit. Just like in “Logan” and “Creed,” we are forced to see what the winds of change have done to those we grew up watching, and it isn’t always pleasant.

It’s great to see Ewan McGregor back working with Boyle, Hodge, and producer Andrew Macdonald. McGregor and had a huge falling out with Boyle when the director handed the lead role in “The Beach” over to Leonardo DiCaprio instead of him, and the two ended up not talking for years. Well, whatever happened is now water under the bridge, and it would certainly be unthinkable for Boyle to replace McGregor with another actor. While Renton has suffered through years of regret and decreased vitality, McGregor still brings much of the same boundless energy to the character as he did before. It’s also a thrill to see him engage in one of Renton’s “Choose Life” speeches, especially since it takes on a much more emotional dimension than ever before.

Jonny Lee Miller continues to bring a wonderfully perverted energy to his portrayal of Sick Boy as his criminal exploits are fueled by bitterness and large doses of cocaine. I was especially taken in by Ewan Bremmer’s portrayal of Spud which is funny and heartbreaking all at the same time. We are constantly reminded of how Spud is harmless to anyone but himself, and Bremmer makes the character’s ever so wounded pride all the more palpable throughout.

My hat is really off, however, to Robert Carlyle as he makes Begbie every bit as explosive and lethal as he did 20 years ago. Some actors lose their edge as they get older, but not Carlyle as Begbie is still a volcanic force of nature you best not be around if you value your physical well-being. At the same time, the actor brings an honest vulnerability to the character which is both unexpected and wrenching. It serves as a reminder of how much acting range Carlyle has. Remember, he went from playing Begbie to playing a loving father in “The Full Monty,” and I had to keep pinching myself to realize it was the same actor playing both roles.

In addition, I enjoyed Anjela Nedyalkova’s performance as Veronika, a working girl who sees right through all the men around her and gets to the truth they have yet to realize for themselves. She brings a confident and sassy energy to this sequel, and she is a strong addition to this strong quartet of actors. It was also nice to see Kelly Macdonald reprise her role as Diane who has since become a lawyer. She kept stealing the show from her male co-stars in the original, and she does it again here.

They say you can never go back, but “Trainspotting 2” shows you can, but never all the way. There is a mournful feel to this sequel, but it’s there for good reason. In watching these characters wonder how they ended up at this point in their lives, we are forced to examine our own lives and wonder how we got here. It’s an unnerving prospect for a movie to offer its viewers, but I’m glad this one did even though it almost left me on the verge of tears. There needs to be time for a re-examination of our lives and desires, and we have to find a way to make peace with our past. Boyle and company understand this, and they never back down from exploring these emotionally complicated themes.

The cast and crew of “Trainspotting” have given us a very worthy follow up to their original masterpiece, and it is backed up by strong acting, a kick ass soundtrack, and the invigorating visuals we can always count on Boyle putting up on the silver screen. Yes, “Trainspotting 2” was well worth the wait, but be prepared for it to take a piece out of you. And remember what Renton says: Choose life and be addicted to something good.

* * * ½ out of * * * *

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Godzilla (1998)

godzilla-1998-poster

I originally wrote this review on May 20, 1998, not long after I watched this “summer blockbuster.”

The momentous day has finally arrived! Roland Emmerich’s “Godzilla” has finally hit the big screen in all of its reptilian glory. Trailers for this movie have been up and running for over a year now, and the past few weeks have had us bombarded with television commercials from Taco Bell with the Chihuahua, hoping to cash in on this film’s predicted box office success. But now the wait is over and the film has finally hit the big screen. Everyone is waiting to see if the movie will suck in the biggest opening in box office history and outdo “Titanic” as the highest-grossing movie of all time…

What can I tell you? “Godzilla” sucks! I even wrote it up on the dry erase board in the main hall of my college dorm for everyone to see:

GODZILLA SUCKS!!!

People need to be warned because, unlike “Titanic,” this was not worth the wait. For me, this was a very depressing cinematic experience and one of those movies where the trailers for coming attractions, in this case “X-Files – Fight the Future,” “Lethal Weapon 4” and “The Mask of Zorro,” were far more entering than the main event. I read a review somewhere which quoted one patron as saying it made “Jurassic Park: The Lost World” look like “Citizen Kane.” I couldn’t agree more, and I liked “Jurassic Park: The Lost World,” a movie many consider to be one of the worst Steven Spielberg has ever directed.

Where do I start? The characters were all clichés, barely registering as humans. Kevin Dunn plays the military commander who is always in a bad mood and barking out orders, Michael Lerner is your typically clueless mayor, and Matthew Broderick portrays the nerdy scientist who is the polar opposite of Ferris Bueller. Maria Pitillo, who looks a lot like Heather Graham, was cute, but her television reporter character really belongs in a sitcom instead of a movie like this.

I blame this all on the direction of Roland Emmerich, a director who never seems to understand just how cheesy his movies are. “Independence Day” tried to be the next “Star Wars,” but it ended up being an overproduced B-movie. Still, it’s a classic of American cinema when you compare it to this overhyped mess.

There’s a scene in the beginning of the movie where three fishing boats are pulled backward underwater into the water – a direct rip off of “Jaws.” Now on one hand, I liked how Emmerich was never quick to show the giant mutated lizard, but on the other the “Jaws” reference came to illustrate all the things that “Godzilla” unforgivably lacks: great actors, strong characters, and a good storyline. Special effects by themselves can’t save a movie, especially one as crappy as this one.

Furthermore, the music score by David Arnold was way too much, and less could have been a lot more. In fact, everything about this movie was overblown, robbing it of whatever suspense it could ever have hoped to generate. There were moments where things did quiet down, and that was a relief and also showed some promise this movie might actually become exciting to watch. But then the screen became overwhelmed with countless explosions and massive destruction which we have seen in far too many movies to keep track of. Heck, the special effects in those movies are infinitely better than any in “Godzilla.” Trust me; the money is not up there on the screen.

Producer Dean Devlin and Emmerich appear to be big New York haters as they again lay waste to the city’s most famous monuments just like they did in “Independence Day.” But then again, New York seems to be the target of destruction this summer judging from the trailers I have seen for “Deep Impact” and “Armageddon.”

Now for Godzilla himself (or herself if you are not sure). When we do finally get to see the big lizard, it really proves to be nothing more than a big special effect. The more you are aware of this, the less threatening Godzilla becomes, and the action sequences end up lacking a lot of friction. I really loathe digital imaging and effects because they are too obvious on the big screen. In retrospect, I would have preferred seeing a guy in a suit instead.

There’s one moment where Godzilla jumps into the ocean, and it looks like it was lifted directly from a scene in “Alien Resurrection.” Originality is not in existence in films these days, but what else is new? I did not go in expecting a great movie, but I was at least hoping it would be exciting and intense. It was neither.

Furthermore, the look of Godzilla was nothing particularly impressive or horrifying. It looked like a cross between a Tyrannosaurus Rex that had an amazing growth spurt and the kind of lizard I saw crawling all over the place in Ibiza. Once again, originality is nonexistent and we have “Jurassic Park” all over again.

The only part that really scared me some was when the main characters discovered all the eggs Godzilla had lain in Madison Square Garden. What could we expect to see when they hatched? But hatched they did, and they all came out looking like Velociraptors or Velociraptor wannabes.

You’d think after a film like “Independence Day,” which was a huge hit worldwide but not exactly a critical success, that the filmmakers would learn from their mistakes and make a better movie. But no! We get one which is even worse and yet is still bound to make tons of money. But having seen “Godzilla,” I am more than confident that it will not dethrone “Titanic” as the all-time box office champ. Hey Tri-Star Pictures! Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!

A lot of people say that James Cameron is a big egomaniac and a jerk to his cast and crew on each movie he has directed. Maybe he is, claiming he can make these kinds of movies better than everyone else. But after “Godzilla” ended, I think Cameron can brag all he wants until he makes a tremendously crappy movie like this one. I don’t care how bad you thought the dialogue was in “Titanic;” “Godzilla” is the bottom of the barrel in the screenplay department. How many writers did it take to come up with this script anyway?

And, of course, we have the obligatory ending where Madison Square Garden is destroyed, but for some bizarre and unexplained reason there’s an egg which was somehow undamaged (go figure). The baby burst out of the egg just as the movie faded to black, and I imagined a lot of audience members probably thought the following when they saw it:

“Oh no! It’s a baby!!!”

But I just stared at the screen and thought to myself:

“Oh no! It’s a set up for a sequel!! SAVE US NOW!!!”

Just how many times can you destroy New York in the movies anyway?

½* out of * * * *