‘Heart Eyes’ – A Romantic Comedy Slasher Film Worth a Look
“Heart Eyes” comes to us packaged as a horror comedy filled with blood, gore, creative kills, mystery and a pair of sexy leads, one of whom looks like he just stepped off the set of “Bridgerton.” Perhaps the filmmakers wanted to give February 14th another horror classic as “My Bloody Valentine” may not have the same staying power these days have (assuming it ever did). As for “The St, Valentine’s Day Massacre,” that’s a gangster film not many have watched in a long time (and they probably should). Whatever the case, it is here and, judging from its gloriously bloody trailer, looks to be Valentine’s Day’s answer to Eli Roth’s “Thanksgiving.”
The masked serial killer of this film is called the Heart Eyes Killer, and he, his gender assumed, wreaks havoc on Valentine’s Day by killing couples who are madly in love. Clearly, the filmmakers have brought all the tools to the table as this killer has everything a growing serial killer needs; a machete, a simple knife, night vision, martial arts training, and if he doesn’t have any weapons on him at any given moment, he will be quick to make use of whatever automotive parts or kitchen tools available at his (again, I assume) disposal. The first kills come to represent how good this psycho is with their aim and viciously cold he is ending the existence of those unlucky to be in their way.
From there we head over to Seattle, Washington, home of the Space Needle. Ally (Olivia Holt) has a chance meeting with a “Bridgerton” looking dude named Jay (Mason Gooding) at a coffee shop where it turns out they like the same drink and the same amount of sugar and honey put in it. The chemistry is very palpable to where there is no denying this is love at first sight, but Ally is still recovering from a breakup from an ex who has quickly moved on to another love, and Jay is only in town for a day.
Well, it turns out they are to be co-workers on an advertising project which needs to be salvaged as Ally’s take on love is not the least bit appealing to her condescending boss who is given an inspired portrayal by Michaela Watkins. This leads to dinner, drinks, and an arrival at someone’s apartment. Unfortunately for them, the Heart Eyes Killer is waiting for them there, and they become the killer’s favorite target even though they are not exactly a couple.
In a lot of ways, “Heart Eyes” plays a but like a “Scream” movie as we spend our time trying to figure out who the killer is, and if there is more than one. All the while, we are treated to a film score by Jay Wadley which sounds like Marco Beltrami leftovers. But while I have been down this road many times before, I still enjoyed what this romantic comedy slasher flick had to offer as it held my attention throughout, and it never lost my attention throughout.
The beginning which features a couple getting engaged, and the man proposes in a rather gross way to put it mildly (watch it for yourself), and it quickly reminds us of how difficult it is to get a proposal just right. Those who are lucky enough to do so strive for perfection, and they should just be happy they didn’t get an arrow through the eye or get smashed in a compactor to where one of their eyes shoots out of its socket. This sets this film off to an inspired start to where I was curious to see where things would go from there.
As for the kills, they are as creative as one might expect for a slasher flick. A tire iron will never look the same, a machete cannot help but be a welcome sight even if it isn’t being wielded by Danny Trejo, and an arrow which ends up in the most painful, let alone fatal, spots of the human body. Just when you think you have everything, there is another which cuts much too close, and I don’t just mean to one’s private parts.
Oh yeah, there are also a pair of police detectives out to investigate and solve the crime, and they go by the last names of Hobbs and Shaw. The fact that one of them is played Jordana Brewster should help to clue the average viewer as to what franchise this is all referring to. For the more naïve ones, it might just refer to a drift, particularly from Tokyo.
What really holds “Heart Eyes” together the most is the irresistible chemistry between Holt and Gooding. Together, they power a film which might have easily come across as an average slasher flick, but instead works as a subversive answer to the regular romantic comedy.
As you may expect, the identity of the killer is eventually revealed, or is it really? I imagine there are some who will say, “I knew who it was all along,” but even those schmucks will be wondering if there is a second shooter on the grassy knoll. This all results in a number of inconsistences which tend to make for the worst plot holes of all, but I was having enough fun to where I lost any interest in examining just how big those holes were.
Director Josh Ruben and screenwriters Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy were intent on taking the kind of slasher flick we all grew up watching and mashing them together into something which is recognizable but still its own thing. When it comes to romantic comedies, I usually find myself running in the opposite direction from them like everyone else, but the scene in which Ally and Jay share their vulnerabilities with one another while hiding in a van at a drive in showing a film starring Cary Grant while the couple who own the van have loud and passionate sex in the rear proved to be moving enough to where if Elton John’s song “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” started playing in the background, I would have been totally cool with that.
It will be some time before critics, film buffs and horror movie addicts can proclaim “Heart Eyes” a horror classic for the ages. Some works age like a fine wine, and while this one is no classic, I like to believe people will come to appreciate it more in the future than upon its release. It is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but I found it to be a fun ride which is worth the price of admission.
And looking at the pattern of this serial killer’s victims, it makes me wonder what this film’s tagline could have been. I am thinking it could have been something like “it’s better to be single” or “just when you thought it was safe to get into a romantic relationship,” this one reminds you of the advantages of going into Valentine’s Day solo. Then again, mistaken identity, as it is shown to be here, is a real bitch.
* * * out of * * * *
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