Danielle Panabaker

The ‘Friday the 13th’ Reboot – Jason is Vicious, But the Movie is Bland

Posted on by The Ultimate Rabbit

WRITER’S NOTE: This review was written back in 2009 when this reboot was released.

What better way to spend Singles Awareness Day (a.k.a. Valentine’s Day) than with an old friend who butchers camp counselors because they didn’t keep him from drowning, or supposedly so? I somehow doubt you can call this latest slasher adventure of Jason Voorhees a remake. Each sequel to the original “Friday the 13th” was basically a reworking of the first sequel which introduced Jason as the main killer of the franchise. Watching each successive sequel has been like witnessing a perverted sports event. How is Jason going to kill off those promiscuous teenagers? What weapons will he use? Will the ladies be as cute as they were in the previous movie? Will the guys be every bit as gullible as before? I think this is what makes people keep coming back to this never-ending franchise. We are curious to see how Jason will dispatch his latest batch of victims before he gets laid waste to by the final girl. John Carpenter said evil never dies, and Jason Voorhees is proof of this.

This “Friday the 13th” comes to us from Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay’s film company which made such unnecessary remakes of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “The Hitcher” and “The Amityville Horror.” A lot of people complain about Bay the director, but I am more worried about Bay the producer. Still, the idea of bringing back Jason was too intriguing even for me to pass up.

In this particular “Friday,” Jason more threatening here than he has been in ages. For the last few movies, he has become a figure of such unbridled camp that he comes across as more of a joke. Here, he is as vicious as ever. This Jason does not just walk at lightning speed like he did in “Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.” Here, he thrusts his weapons and impales his victims with sheer velocity. His mommy issues have never been more deeply rooted than they have been since the franchise first began.

The movie starts off more or less condensing the original, as it was Jason’s mother who was the brutal killer in that one. We see Jason’s mother, played by Nana Visitor from “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” (never piss off a Bajoran), get decapitated by the one camp counselor, female of course, who she couldn’t kill. We all know how seriously pissed she was at the counselors who let her son Jason drown, and now Jason will carry on her vengeance. The prologue is much longer than I ever could have expected, and in it we meet a bunch of kids who are seriously interested in obtaining a huge quantity of marijuana. Jason, however, is there with a bag over his head, the iconic hockey mask gets introduced later, killing off potential profiteers. It made wonder if Jason was actually a drug dealer as he apparently lives near such a big farm of green.

These kids meet a gruesome end (is there any other kind?), and the movie then moves ahead a couple of months to introduce us to a new set of victims. These ones though are not there to be camp counselors, but instead to stay in a house by the lake to have a “relaxing” weekend. The house belongs to the father of a snobby little spoiled brat named Trent (Travis Van Winkle), and his name wreaks of snobbery whether he likes it or not. Along with him is his girlfriend Jenna (Danielle Panabaker) who has no business being with a guy like him, an Asian smarty named Chewie (Aaron Yoo) who has yet to get laid, and a couple others who, whether they get laid or not, will most likely not live through the weekend. You also have the sole black man, Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta), who loves to mess with white people and their prejudices they are blind to. Arlen has one of the best lines of dialogue, and you will know it when you hear it.

What makes this particular “Friday the 13th” different from the others? Not much. It has the requisite killings and naked breasts. Sean S. Cunningham, the director of the original, is along for the ride as a producer, and he is intent on giving the audience what they expect from a movie like this. What makes this franchise reboot different is it is a lot bleaker and more unrelenting than the other sequels.

Marcus Nispel directed this installment, and he also directed the Platinum Dunes remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” He gives it a washed out look, and it gives the proceedings a more realistic feel as well as a foreboding one. The tension is thick in the air, and even though the scares are pretty much where you would expect them to be. The killings are effectively brutal, but Nispel doesn’t dwell so much on the blood and gore as much as you might expect.

As for the characters, they really didn’t stick in mind for long after I left the theater. That’s the problem with movies like these. Not that I expect them to be in depth character studies, but it is clear these characters are presented as being ones who are quickly disposable. There are those who you want to live through the night, and there are others whose demise constantly root for, especially Trent. In the end, they are all fair sport for Jason who kills everything in his path. Having an Asian and a black character also shows how this masked killer knows no racial boundaries when it comes to slashing trespassers. After all these years, Jason Voorhees remains an equal opportunity murderer.

Jason is played in this incarnation by Derek Mears, an actor who played the Chameleon character in that awful sequel, “The Hills Have Eyes 2.” I liked how he gave Jason a fury we have not seen from in over a decade. Not that I want to take away from Kane Hodder, but Mears gives Jason a viciousness which makes him feel more dangerous than ever before.

Regardless of these positives, there is nothing particularly special to this “Friday the 13th.” Despite a higher standard of production values the other sequels never got, it still feels like an ordinary run of the mill slasher movie to where the one word I can best describe it as being is bland. It’s the kind of movie which doesn’t stay in the brain too long after you have seen it. While Jason may be more threatening than ever, it is not enough to make this movie seem altogether satisfying.

Also, I am really getting sick of this plot device in which cell phones do not work. I find it hard to believe there are places on this planet which do not have cell phone signals. Granted, the Hollywood Hills never seem to have them, but still, while this scenario worked fine in “The Hills Have Eyes” remake, this singular excuse to isolate these dumb characters continues to get weaker and weaker.

For what it’s worth, this is the first “Friday the 13th” movie I have ever seen in a theater. I always kept hearing about these movies as a kid, and I was fascinated with them even while Siskel & Ebert kept tearing them apart as “cynical filmmaking.” It took me a while to get around to actually watching them, and even then, I had the volume turned down. I also kept hearing from my friends how people reacted during them. One told me how, when he saw “Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood,” everyone started a chant when it looked like the most unlikable character, a horribly spoiled girl with no manners whatsoever, was about to get killed off. This led the audience members to start chanting:

“Kill the bitch, kill the bitch, kill the bitch, kill the bitch, KILL THE BITCH! KILL THE BITCH!! KILL THE BITCH!!! KILL THE BITCH!!!!!!”

That would have been fun to witness, and the fact that this “Friday the 13th” movie did not have it took away from the experience. While I admire how they made Jason more lethal, part of me missed the tongue in cheek qualities of this franchise. You know, the moments which reminded you it was just a movie, and how some critics take them way too seriously. Looking back, I feel like I missed out on something.

Jason should really engage in a group therapy session with Norman Bates because they have more in common than they realize. Of course, Jason doesn’t talk, but maybe Norman could get him to or perhaps teach him sign language. Hey, anything is possible, right?

* * out of * * * *

John Carpenter’s ‘The Ward’ – His First Film in a Decade, and Maybe His Last

Posted on by The Ultimate Rabbit

Master John Carpenter described “The Ward,” his first feature length movie in ten years, best through a video message at the Toronto International Film Festival:

“’The Ward’ is an old school horror movie made by an old school director.”

It’s good to know this going in as Carpenter is not trying to reinvent the wheel or outdo all other horror releases out now. The plot of “The Ward” is as old fashioned as they come, and it allows Mr. Carpenter to exercise the skills he has perfected for many years. It’s not on a par with “The Thing” or “Halloween,” but in the end I didn’t care. For me it was an absorbing movie which kept me entertained throughout its running time, and it was far more entertaining than those summer blockbusters duds “Green Lantern” or “Bad Teacher.”

“The Ward” stars Amber Heard as Kristen, a young woman whom we first see her indulging in a little pyromania, and not the kind Def Leppard made an album about. The police pick Kristen up after she burns down an abandoned farmhouse, and she gets sent straight to the ward of the movie’s title. Her fellow patients are not necessarily the “Girl, Interrupted” type, and Angelina Jolie is nowhere to be found. The intentions of Dr. Stringer (Jared Harris) appear ambiguous at best, and dealing with the chief orderly and Nurse Lundt, both who are deadly serious, is no picnic.

Actually, let me segue here for a moment; Nurse Lundt’s name seems to rhyme with a certain derogatory word. Which one you say? Well… You can just figure that out on your own. I wonder if this was intentional on the part of screenwriters Michael and Shawn Rasmussen, or perhaps it is just the name of someone they knew from way back. Well, whatever the case, Lundt certainly gives Nurse Ratched a run for her money in the seriously mean category, but her voice is not as lovely as Louise Fletcher’s was.

Now this being a psychiatric ward, it is mandatory that a ghost is roaming the halls. Kristen first sees it while taking a shower and, of course, everyone says she’s a nut which is redundant considering she’s staying in a mental institution. Then again, the patients may know more about what’s going on than they initially admit. I hate to think they’ve spent all their time there without seeing at least one ghost, you know? Anyway, patients start to disappear one by one, and Kristen aims to find out what happened to them on top of escaping the ward before it claims her as its next victim.

Now whatever you think of Carpenter’s directorial skills these days, his efforts in generating suspense are still strong. Carpenter is smart to not reveal all the important plot details right away, and he holds you within his grasp throughout as he leaves you guessing or imagining what’s really going on. Even if you see the ending coming from a mile away, the journey to it was an entertaining one for me.

I was skimming through another review of “The Ward” online which said Heard was as believable a mental patient as Charlize Theron was a mine worker in “North Country.” Now what is that supposed to mean? That she’s too good looking to be in a psychiatric ward? Give me a break! Heard does good work here portraying a strong-willed protagonist you want to root for. She’s engaging and believable, and while others may see her as being miscast, I did not. By the way, I thought Theron was great in “North Country” and I utterly accepted her as a mine worker. And in case that one reviewer didn’t notice, both actresses were in “North Country” and played different versions of the same character.

Lyndsy Fonseca is very good as Iris, the first girl to befriend Kristen. She appears to be the most emotionally balanced of the patients, and Fonseca makes her character’s awareness all the more convincing. Mamie Gummer gives a good performance as Emily, and she gives Emily a complexity she might otherwise not have had. Danielle Panabaker makes her character Sarah the epitome of Carly Simon’s classic tune “You’re So Vain,” and she’s a kick to watch. And Laura Leigh rounds out this strong group of actresses by making Zoey a convincingly traumatized person whose escape from reality consists of her acting like a little girl.

In terms of horror, Carpenter still makes effective use of cheap scares. While they have been used to death by dozens of filmmakers, he always makes them count. This is especially the case with “The Ward’s” final scene which truly took me by surprise. I should warn you though that the movie has one of those pull out the rug from under you kind of endings which I am really sick of. However, Carpenter doesn’t telegraph the ending to us like others typically do, so I’m willing to let it pass this time.

If there’s anything missing from “The Ward,” it’s Carpenter’s music which I am a big fan of, and his unique sounds were missed. Not that I want to knock Mark Kilian’s work here as he gives the film an appropriately atmospheric score which works very well, and it does have a bit of that Carpenter sound to it. Still, I yearn for a new score from Carpenter or even his son Cody who did amazing work on “Masters of Horror.”

Am I being too forgiving to “The Ward?” Perhaps. I’ve always been a big admirer of Carpenter’s work, and I even have good things to say about “Ghosts of Mars.” Many have expressed their big disappointment with “The Ward” as they want it to be on a par with “Halloween” and “The Thing.” Others found it not gory enough, but then again Carpenter’s strongest films don’t always rely on it like the “Saw” movies do. Personally, I don’t want to spend time comparing “The Ward” to his best movies because to do so would just be asking us to hate it before the opening credits even begin. You can only let an artist remain in the shadow of their past work for so long until you realize your spoiling the experience for yourself.

With “The Ward,” Carpenter was looking for a movie with a tight schedule and a limited location which didn’t require him to stay for a long time or get completely exhausted after shooting only half of it. With the limited resources he had, he made “The Ward” worth watching, and I got very involved in the plights of the characters. There’s nothing original on display here, and it may very well remind you of a gazillion other movies like it, but I’m glad the master finally directed a feature film again after so long. I just hope we don’t have to wait another ten years for Carpenter’s next film. And if there’s anyway Kurt Russell can star in it, you can sure bet I will be watching it on opening day!

* * * out of * * * *