‘Bad Teacher’ – A Wannabe ‘Bad Santa’

Bad Teacher” so desperately wants to be a devious black comedy like “Bad Santa” but for teachers. Depressingly, it doesn’t even come close to reaching such devilishly hilarious heights. Despite some good laughs sprinkled throughout, this movie is a surprising bore with few surprises up its sleeve. You can see things coming long in advance, and the punch line deflates very quickly. Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake and a talented cast do their best with a severely underwritten script, but the movie wears out its welcome within the first ten minutes.

Cameron Diaz stars as the teacher of the movie’s title, Elizabeth Halsey. She is dumped by her rich fiancé at the start as he figures out that she is only with him for his money, and this forces Elizabeth to go back to her teaching job which she claims is “the only thing I’m good at.” Her teaching style, however, consists of showing her students movies like “Stand and Deliver” and “Lean on Me” before moving on to the R-rated stuff. While they watch, she’s either nursing a hangover or working towards one with tiny little bottles of Jim Beam whiskey stashed in her desk. But while Jack Black played a somewhat similar character nursing a hangover in “School of Rock,” Diaz comes up short here.

The thing with movies like “Bad Santa” is that, as deplorable as the lead characters were in their actions and demeanor, there was something which made me want to keep watching what they went through, and in the hopes that they would reach some sort of evolution or catharsis. Whether they were likable or not, they were interesting. Billy Bob Thornton succeeded in “Bad Santa” in painting a complex portrait of a man who was as pitiful as he was cruel to others.

This brings us to a really big problem with “Bad Teacher;” Elizabeth Halsey is not an interesting character. She is essentially a shallow human being looking to manipulate those around her to get what she wants. Through schemes like school car washes and, as it is described, “extra tutoring,” Elizabeth works towards raising money to get breast implants as they seem more important than anything else. Aside from that, there’s not much to the character here. She comes across as one-dimensional without much to work with in terms of complexity or a back story, and this just sinks the film even further down into the muck.

Regardless of what has been said, I believe Diaz is a very good actress. She is endowed with great comedic talents which were put to good use in movies like “There’s Something About Mary,” and she has proven to be a strong dramatic actress in “Any Given Sunday” and “Being John Malkovich.” While she is game in making Elizabeth a despicable teacher, she never becomes like the ones everyone hated during school years, and the lack if any interesting and redeeming qualities makes this a waste of her talents. With a better screenplay, she would have been fantastic here.

“Bad Teacher” does pick up a little as it goes on, and it scores some great laughs when Elizabeth discovers that the teacher whose class gets the highest scores on the state exam gets a bonus of around $5,000. Seeing her switch her class from movie watching to reading the first 100 pages of “To Kill a Mockingbird” in one night for a quiz the next day is comedic gold. It gets even better when she uses unorthodox methods to make the students learn like standing them in a line and hurling balls at them when they give the wrong answers. Unfortunately, these are some of the highlights, and they all happen at the movie’s midpoint.

Other scenes like Elizabeth getting revenge on faculty members becomes anticlimactic as I could see long in advance how her vengeance would end. When she is running the school car wash and dresses scantily, it’s funny for a minute. I have seen so many movies over the years which have utilized this sight gag, sexy women at a car wash barely dressed, and it’s so old now. We have been there and done that, and nothing is done to make this particular gag look the least bit fresh.

One actor who fares better in this movie is Jason Segel who plays gym teacher, Russell Gettis. His humor is unforced, and he never strives too hard in making us laugh and succeeds in sneaking jokes when least expected. If only “Bad Teacher” had more of this humorous magic… I mean, I can dream, can’t I?

After all these years, I’m glad Justin Timberlake has singing career to fall back on as he has not had the greatest luck in movies despite his inspired turn in “The Social Network.” Watching him opposite Diaz is interesting in part because we all know they were once a couple, but the chemistry they had in life doesn’t quite translate to the silver screen. His character of substitute teacher Scott Delacorte is a rich guy who Elizabeth courts as she selfishly wants someone wealthy to pamper her for life. But it becomes far too obvious how this relationship will turn out, and while Timberlake does what he can with the material given to him, he can only do so much.

Other actors who have their moments include Phyllis Smith who steals scenes as the shy Lynn Davies. Her muted ways make for amusing moments as she argues about certain things bothering her at a very subdued level. Stealing even more scenes though is Lucy Punch who plays Elizabeth’s arch nemesis, Amy Squirrell. Punch fills her character with a certain joy brought on by an innocence which masks a deep resentment that eventually gets the best of her.

The director of “Bad Teacher” is Jake Kasdan who is of course the son of famed filmmaker Lawrence Kasdan, Jake’s a good director, and his movie “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” remains one of the most vastly underrated comedies of all time. But here, he is unable to find the balance between comedy and character. If the characters in this here movie were a little more down to earth and nowhere as contrived, he could have made this film truly work and give it a spark few comedies could have.

Many may watch “Bad Teacher” with high hopes that it will be a deliciously nasty comedy along the lines of “Observe and Report” or “World’s Greatest Dad,” let alone “Bad Santa.” The problem is this one is nastier than it is funny. Doing comedy is hard work, but making a black comedy is even more difficult. Hopefully, Jake will have more luck in the future with this kind of film, as he has done good work in the past. And I also say this because the recently released “Red One,” which he directed, is, like this one, far from ever being a critical darling.

* * out of * * * *

The Best Movies of 1998

1998 logo

Now it’s time to go to take a look back at the movies of 1998, the same year when California started the ban on smoking in bars and restaurants. What else happened that year? John Glenn became the oldest astronaut to go into space, and it gave us a reason to watch the space shuttle launch on television for the first time in years. The Denver Broncos became the first AFC team in 14 years to win the Super Bowl when they beat the Green Bay Packers (I’m so glad I didn’t bet on that game). The whole controversy of President Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky exploded, which the President’s enemies seized upon like teenagers going through their dads’ Playboy magazine issues while he is out of town. And, most ironically, a court in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan ruled Osama Bin Laden was “a man without a sin” in regard to the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania. Well, we knew better.

As for myself, I was in my second year at UC Irvine and my fourth year in college. I still had a dorm room all to myself, and I was busy with school work and appearing in plays like “Enrico IV,” “The Scarlet Letter” and “Twelfth Night.” Of course, I tried to get out to the movies as much as humanly possible. Many of the movies on this list were ones I actually didn’t get around to seeing until years later, so it’s probably best I am giving you this list now.

10) There’s Something About Mary

Theres Something About Mary poster

Bobby and Peter Farrelly gave us one of the most gut bustlingly hilarious movies ever made with “There’s Something About Mary.” I was dying with laughter while watching this, and I wasn’t expecting to. In retrospect, I should have though since this came from the same directors who gave us “Dumb and Dumber” as well as “Kingpin.” On top of having so many funny moments, the movie also has a lot of heart in the way it portrays the two main characters played by Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz. Those of you who think Diaz can’t act need to revisit this one because she is so good at playing a teenager who we later see as a well-meaning adult with a few too many stalkers.

9) American History X

American History X poster

So much has been said about the making of “American History X” and the bitter disagreements between director Danny Kaye and actor Edward Norton. Regardless of whoever deserves the majority of the credit, there is no denying this is a powerful and unforgettable motion picture. Norton gave one of his very best performances as white supremacist Derek Vineyard, and the look he gives the camera after killing two people is a very chilling moment which is not easily erased from the conscious mind. Norton also gets great support from Edward Furlong who plays Danny, Derek’s brother, who threatens to tread down the same hateful path Derek has. Kaye, even if he didn’t get final cut, gives the movie an amazing look in black and white which captures the escalating tension of Derek’s journey from a world of hate to a place of compassion.

8) Dark City

Dark City movie poster

Alex Proyas followed up his brilliant adaptation of “The Crow” with this visionary sci-fi epic about a man who wakes up not knowing who he is, and of those who seek to capture him for their own twisted experiments. Like many great sci-fi movies “Dark City” was a box office flop upon its release, but it has since found an audience to where there’s no denying it is a cult classic. You’re along for the ride with Rufus Sewell as he tries to understand his place in a world ruled over by the Strangers. This movie remains suspenseful to the very end, and the look of the movie feels like no other I have ever seen. Jennifer Connelly also stars in the film and looks beautiful as always, and it is interesting to watch Kiefer Sutherland play a complete wimp after watching him for so long on “24.”

7) Out Of Sight

Out of Sight movie poster

Here’s the film which brought Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney together, and it also serves as one of the very best adaptations of an Elmore Leonard novel. With “Out of Sight,” Clooney proved without a doubt there was going to be life for him after “ER” with his performance as Jack Foley, the most successful bank robber in America. When Jack escapes from jail, he ends up sharing some trunk space with Federal Marshall Karen Sisco (Jennifer Lopez). “Out of Sight” also marked the beginning of a career resurgence for Soderbergh, and he got to work from a truly great screenplay written by Scott Frank. Also starring is the fantastic Catherine Keener, Ving Rhames, Steve Zahn, Dennis Farina, Isaiah Washington, and the always reliable Don Cheadle. This movie was a lot of fun, and Clooney and Lopez had such great chemistry together.

6) Rushmore

Rushmore movie poster

This was my introduction to the highly creative world of Wes Anderson. “Rushmore” is an instant comedy classic with more depth to it than many others of its genre at the time. Max Fischer is an original eccentric character; a young man involved in just about ever extra-curricular activity at school, all at the expense of his report card. Jason Schwartzman is great fun to watch as Max, and Bill Murray gives a performance which damn well should have earned him an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor. With Anderson, his comedy is fueled by the sadness and isolation of his characters, and of the things they desperately want in life. “Rushmore” is filled with as much meaning as it does laughter as both Schwartzman and Murray battle over the same woman played by Olivia Williams. It also owes a lot to the late Mike Nichols’ enduring classic “The Graduate.”

5) Happiness

Happiness movie poster

Todd Solondz’s follow up to “Welcome To The Dollhouse” may very well be the most ironically titled film in cinema history. Controversy followed “Happiness” all the way to its release, and the MPAA of course just had to give it an NC-17 (it ended up being released unrated). One of the blackest of black comedies ever, it follows the lives of three sisters and the various people who are a part of their fragile lives. The late Philip Seymour Hoffman gives a frighteningly memorable performance as an obscene phone caller, and it was one of the first real examples of the brilliant character actor we came to see him as. But the bravest performance comes from Dylan Baker who plays Bill Maplewood, a psychiatrist, husband and loving father who, unbeknownst to his family, is a pedophile. Baker ends up making you empathize, but not sympathize, with a man who we would instantly despise once we discovered his terrible secret. As unappealing as these characters may seem, Solondz makes us see ourselves in them and to where we cannot see we are not all that different.

4) The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski movie poster

I didn’t get to see this when it first came out in theaters, but my parents did eventually strap me down in a chair to watch it, and this should give you an idea of how much they love it. The Coen brothers follow up to “Fargo” did not get the same reception when originally released, but it has since built up an amazing cult following. Much of this is thanks to Jeff Bridges’ brilliant performance as Jeffrey Lebowski, aka “The Dude.” What could have been a performance built on stereotypes of the slackers we know in life turns out to be perhaps the most memorable character in Bridges’ long and underappreciated career. It’s an ingenious comedy with not so much a plot as a connected series of events which start with the theft of Lebowski’s carpet which he says “tied the whole room together.”

3) The Truman Show

The Truman Show movie poster

It still seems criminal how Peter Weir’s film was surprisingly, and infuriatingly, snubbed for a Best Picture nomination. Jim Carrey gives a truly astonishing and powerful performance as Truman Burbank, a man who slowly becomes aware he is the star of a reality show about his life. Yes, he should have been nominated for an Oscar alongside his co-star Ed Harris, but there will always be the unforgivable snubs. “The Truman Show” has become a prophetic movie of sorts as reality shows are the norm in today’s culture, and this obsession we have over them remains very strong to this day. Andrew Niccol’s screenplay was a brilliant examination of how we might view our own life if we found out it was based on a lie, and that everything we know is actually wrong. This stands as one of Weir’s best American movies in a long and justly acclaimed career.

2) Shakespeare In Love

Shakespeare in Love movie poster

While it may have gotten overwhelmed by Miramax’s Oscar campaign, there’s no denying “Shakespeare In Love” is a brilliant and highly entertaining romantic comedy. The film tells the story of how Shakespeare goes about writing “Romeo & Ethel The Pirate’s Daughter” which eventually evolves into “Romeo & Juliet.” Gwyneth Paltrow gives a most entrancing performance, and I loved watching her every second she appeared onscreen. Joseph Fiennes is perfectly cast as Shakespeare himself, a passionate writer who is hopelessly enamored with Paltrow’s Viola. I also got a huge kick out of Geoffrey Rush’s performance as theater manager Philip Henslowe, a brilliant comic creation who steals every scene he is in. “Shakespeare In Love” serves as not just a great story of how Shakespeare may have written one of the most immortal plays ever, but also as a great satire of the film industry and how it deviously profits from unsuspecting participants.

And now, drum roll please…

1) Saving Private Ryan

Saving Private Ryan movie poster

It would be so easy to put this as my top choice thanks to some of the greatest and most vividly realistic depictions of war ever put on film. Steven Spielberg’s depiction of the landing on D-Day is nothing short of amazing, and it was one of the reasons why I saw this film five times before it came out on DVD. But moreover, it is a deeply respectful salute to those war veterans who served in the armed forces during World War II. “Saving Private Ryan” is filled with great performances from a great cast of actors including Edward Burns, Jeremy Davies, Giovanni Ribisi, Tom Sizemore, Adam Goldberg, Vin Diesel, Matt Damon, and Barry Pepper among others. But it also has one of Tom Hanks’ best performances ever as Captain John Miller, a military man who leads his men to find Private Ryan and bring him back home to his grieving mother. Just when you thought Spielberg had peaked with “Schindler’s List,” he gives us yet another astonishing piece of filmmaking which shows him at the height of his powers.

Honorable Mentions:

Primary Colors – Great Mike Nichols movie based on the book by Joe Klein. It features great performances from John Travolta, Emma Thompson, Kathy Bates as well as an extraordinary cameo from Mykelti Williamson.

Bullworth – Warren Beatty’s scathing political satire may be a bit too broad, but it is a very effective indictment of how the Democratic Party let the American people down.

Elizabeth – Definitely worth mentioning for the brilliant breakthrough performance of Cate Blanchett as Queen Elizabeth.

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas – Terry Gilliam’s adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson’s crazy novel is a true acid trip nightmare with Johnny Depp channeling the reporter all the way to what he was famous for wearing and smoking.

God Said, Ha! – Wonderful concert film of Julia Sweeney’s one-woman show which deals with the time her brother got cancer, and of how she later got cancer herself.

Hurlyburly – Film adaptation of David Rabe’s play dealing with Hollywood players and their dysfunctional relationships with one another. Features a great cast which includes Sean Penn, Chazz Palminteri and Anna Paquin among others.

Affliction – Another emotionally bruising movie from Paul Schrader which is based on the novel by Russell Banks. Features career high performances from Nick Nolte and the late James Coburn who deservedly won an Oscar for his work.

Next Stop Wonderland – An eccentrically unusual kind of romantic comedy which helped introduce actress Hope Davis to a wider audience.

Ronin – One of the last films from the late John Frankenheimer which stars Robert De Niro, Jean Reno, and Jonathan Pryce among others. It also features some of the very best car chases of the 1990’s.

Run Lola Run – Kinetic German thriller with Franka Potente that views her attempts to save her boyfriend’s life in three different ways. This was a great teaser for what would come in 1999, when movies of different kinds proceeded to change the rules of where a story could go.

The Thin Red Line – Terrence Malick’s first movie in over 20 years threatened to be more meandering than anything else, but it is filled with such powerful imagery and to where many considered it more anti-war than “Saving Private Ryan” was.

John Carpenter’s Vampires – It was advertised as a horror movie, but it is really a more of a western and the closest John Carpenter has ever come to making one. James Woods’ performance alone is worth the price of admission as he plays the most badass of vampire hunters, Jack Crow.

Star Trek: Insurrection – Much better than its reputation may suggest, being an odd numbered Star Trek movie and all.