B Movies

‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ – It’s Not Bad

Posted on by The Ultimate Rabbit

WRITER’S NOTE: This review was written back in 2008.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is another in a long line of films listed as the most eagerly awaited in cinema history. However, what the “Star Wars” prequels and “The Matrix” sequels taught us, whatever you thought of them, is that the expectation of something tends to be far more exciting than the finished product. This always works against movies like these because we are just so excited about sitting down to see them, and we have images of what we would like to be inside our head, but they never quite meet our expectations. Ever since I saw “Star Trek V: The Final Frontier,” I have done my best to keep my expectations in check. It is far too easy to be disappointed by a movie you wait impatiently for. I came into this latest Indiana Jones adventure just wanting to have a good time, and you know what? That’s exactly what I got.

This Indiana Jones cinematic installment is not without its flaws, and this is typically the case with all the sequels in this franchise. The screenplay at times is a bit convoluted, and it’s a little hard to figure out what the whole deal with the crystal skull is (a second viewing may end up rectifying that). It’s not the equal of “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” but expecting it to be an instant classic is ridiculous. The first adventure of Dr. Jones is such a favorite of moviegoers everywhere, and it has since been held so far up in the pantheon of cinema to where it is impossible to beat it in terms of its entertainment value and freshness. For myself, just seeing Harrison Ford put on that fedora one more time was more than enough for me.

“Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” moves Indiana Jones to the 1950’s. The Nazis are all gone (or so we thought), and in their place are the Russians, the villain of choice back in the day. Indy and his pal ‘Mac’ George McHale (Ray Winstone) have been captured by them and taken over to Area 51 in New Mexico, the warehouse where the United States government hides all the things it wants no one to see. This leads to the first big action sequence which gets things off to a rousing start. While the circumstances might seem a bit ridiculous, these movies deal with death-defying actions and situations which do not instantly lend themselves to reality, and these are stories which take a place in a reality somewhat removed from our own.

Dr. Henry Jones Jr. (his real name as we learned it from “The Last Crusade”) still teaches archaeology courses, but he soon finds himself dismissed as he is under suspicion of being a Communist. Back in the days of the Joseph McCarthy era, you were guilty until proven innocent. Time has certainly passed by for Indy and his university friend Dean Charles Stanforth (Jim Broadbent), and they have both lost friends over the years like Indy’s father and Marcus Brody (played by the late Denholm Elliott, who is appropriately acknowledged here years after his death). But just as Indy heads off to go around the world, he is visited by Mutt Williams, a 1950’s greaser played by Shia LeBeouf. Mutt informs Indiana his mother has been kidnapped and needs his help to get to the Crystal Skull of this film’s title.

The Russians are led by Irina Spalko, and she is played with utter relish by Cate Blanchett. Irina is a cold, steely Russian whose interest in psychic powers and education proves to be more dangerous than anyone can quickly realize. Like all the villains in this franchise, she lusts for ultimate power and is determined to get it at any cost. Of course, her lust and greed will lead to her eventual undoing. You know how these movies go, and while Irina may not be the greatest villain in this franchise, she is still a formidable foe as embodied by Blanchett, one of many actresses out there who can play just about anybody.

“Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” does feature great stunts which, even if they are not entirely believable, still generate a good deal of excitement. Some are ridiculously over the top, like Shia’s character swinging along vines with the monkeys. But then again, not everything in this movie is meant to be completely believable. Spielberg said he would not rely so much on CGI effects in this movie, but you do notice them when you see them, and it does take away from the action a little. In the end though, the movie keeps up at a pace which never lets you catch your breath.

When this film was first announced, many said Ford was just too damn old to play this or any other role in your average action film. Frankly, I am sick of all this talk about any actor or actress who is at the AARP age level. Ford certainly doesn’t look his age (who does these days?), and he still handles the action scenes with a supreme gusto which proved how serious he is about staying in shape. No one will ever surpass Ford in this iconic role, and I would hate to see anyone else try.

But one of the greatest moves which Spielberg and Lucas did here was bring back Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, Indiana’s love from “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It is so great to see her again as she matches wits with Indiana at every step of the way. Marion also turns out to be Mutt’s mother, and this leads to other revelations ehich I invite you to see for yourself. There is a line of dialogue where Marion and Indy are in the back of a truck trying to escape, and she asks Indy why his other relationships didn’t last, and Indy says:

“Because they weren’t you, Marion.”

This points the obvious of how the other heroines of these movies didn’t even come close to matching the wonderful presence of Marion, and Allen continues to be such an immensely engaging presence in this and other movies she is in. Her character is not a whiny pain in the neck like Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) in “Temple of Doom,” nor is she the underwritten cold-blooded character played by Allison Doody in “The Last Crusade.” It is clear that everyone involved knew that they could do no worse than to bring Allen back. I am very glad that they did.

The big surprise I got from this movie was the performance of Shia LeBeouf. I expected him to be an annoying sidekick a la Short Round from “Temple of Doom,” and essentially give the same annoying performance he gave us in “Transformers.” But this was not the case as he perfectly slipped into the mold of a 1950’s greaser out to save his mother. He matches wits well with Ford as they journey to other countries on a search and rescue mission. Thus, we get another one of those scenes where we see a map and a red line showing where our heroes are going, silhouetted against the planes and other transportation they use to get to their final destination. LaBeouf is very good here, even if he does end up on the verge of some Wesley Crusher-like moments.

Ray Winstone is also very good, as he is in everything else he does. At first, I started to wonder if his character was necessary, and if was basically just there as a foil for both Indy and the plot. Winstone’s performance, however, helps to make some of the more implausible moments in more believable as he sucks us into what his character wants, and he convinces us of this as much as he does Indiana Jones.

I have to give the filmmakers some credit as they took their iconic hero and placed him in another period of time. Having Dr. Jones go up against the Russians showed that at least the filmmakers were trying something a little bit different instead of just giving us the same old thing. There are a lot of moments where Spielberg and Lucas pay homage to the earlier Indy movies as well as to other Spielberg movies like “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” There is a big science-fiction/B-movie element to this one in particular, something the previous installments would have never gone near, but these movies have always indulged in the world of fantasies be it real or imagined, so why not deal with extra-terrestrials?

There is actually a surprising lack of snakes in this sequel, but one does make a memorable cameo appearance. The main animals to fear here are red ants who, even in their CGI form, are terrifying man and woman eaters. We even worry about them devouring the bad guys. Even if the angry red ants do look a bit fake, they still left me unnerved like all the dangerous animals in an Indiana Jones do.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is by no means a perfect movie, but then again, we should never have expected it to be. None of the sequels in this series were perfect either, but whatever flaws they had were eventually redeemed by their entertainment factor which was far above most other blockbusters overcrowding the local multiplex. The only movie in this franchise that has any right to be called perfect is “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” and nothing is ever going to top that. Ever.

I would probably rate this particular sequel just right above “Temple of Doom.” While that one may have been a little more entertaining, it also had a first half and characters that drove me up the wall. It doesn’t have the same amount of heart and character as “Raiders” or “The Last Crusade,” but these characters still remain true to their origins and they keep us engaged in the action. And yes, I had no problem with the “nuke the fridge” scene.

In terms of the summer movies released thus far, “Iron Man” is still the movie to beat. “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is not quite as good, but “Iron Man” is a strong movie for more or less the same reasons “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was when it was first released. They both brought a freshness and energy to their genres which had become somewhat dormant, and they were created by filmmakers who cared about the stories and the characters involved. “Iron Man” will eventually lead to a number of sequels, most of which will probably not hold a candle to the original. While we want some of the same old stuff, we also want something new which brings a fresh edge to what we saw before. With the latest adventure of Indiana Jones, it was business as usual, but that was more than enough for me.

And stop telling me that Harrison Ford is too old to be doing movies like this because, quite frankly, I don’t give a shit!

* * * ½ out of * * * *

’47 Meters Down’ Thrills You Just When You Thought it was Safe to Go Back into the Water

Posted on by The Ultimate Rabbit

47 Meters Down movie poster

From its poster, “47 Meters Down” looks like one of those Syfy flicks like “Sharknado” or “Lavalantula” which are enjoyable for being infinitely silly and having pathetic CGI effects. Or perhaps it would be like one of those knockoff movies from The Asylum, a production company shameless in capitalizing on blockbuster films by using titles and screenplays similar to them (“Snakes on a Train” or “Transmorphers” anyone?). Perhaps the filmmakers wanted to make something similar to the 2016 sleeper hit “The Shallows” which stared Blake Lively as a surfer who has to use her wits in order to keep from being eaten by a great white shark. Either way, I came into this movie figuring it would be one you should not take the least bit seriously and enjoy for all the wrong reasons.

But to my surprise, “47 Meters Down” is a very effective thriller which is lean in its execution, and its main intent is to take you on a pulse pounding ride. In many ways, it is like Renny Harlin’s “Deep Blue Sea” which, while by no means an artistic triumph, played around with the clichés we remember most from shark movies like “Jaws,” and it employs them to where we think we know what to expect, but our expectations are thrown for a loop. What results is a motion picture which knows exactly what it needs to do and how to do it.

Mandy Moore and Clair Holt star as Lisa and Kate, sisters who, as the movie starts, are on vacation in Mexico. One night they run into some local guys who invite them to go cage diving for sharks. Just like Richard Dreyfuss in “Jaws,” these two women will be lowered into the ocean in a cage where they will get to see those sharp-toothed creatures up close without being eaten. But of course, we all know things will not go as planned as our two leads and the characters around them make one stupid mistake after another. Then again, if they didn’t make those mistakes, there would be no movie.

The clichés abound in “47 Meters Down” as the boat the ladies will be traveling on looks far too rusty to sail anywhere safely. You have Matthew Modine on board as the captain of the ship, Taylor, and I couldn’t help but be reminded of Quint from “Jaws.” There’s also the fact that these ladies have never scuba-dived before, and you know this is just asking to invite disaster. We have the air gauges which act as the plot’s ticking time bomb as the ladies threaten to run out of air sooner than they think, they cut themselves to where blood flows from their bodies, thus inviting any shark in the vicinity to drop by and feast on human flesh, and there’s always the one guy who is there to save everybody’s ass, but we all know how long he will last (or do we?).

Lisa also exhibits tremendous anxiety about doing this even as Kate assures her this will be the best time the two of them have ever had (it won’t). Hearing this conversation between them immediately reminded me of a number of “Star Wars” characters saying this infamous line from one movie to the next: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Another unforgettable piece of dialogue which crossed my mind was Jon Voight’s line from “Deliverance” when he said to Burt Reynolds, “Let’s go back to town and play golf.” This was good advice which was left unheeded, and it makes perfect sense how Lisa’s common sense could be overturned by Kate’s need for adventure.

As you can imagine, everything goes terribly wrong as the boat winch breaks, and the women plummet down 47 meters to the seafloor. Director Johannes Roberts wisely keeps the majority of the action underwater as Lisa and Kate struggle to stay calm and not use up their dwindling supply of air. He puts us right in their shoes as, like them, we are left to wonder what the crew members in the boat are doing to bring them back to the surface or if they are doing anything at all. Roberts is also aided strongly by a pulse-pounding film score from Tomandandy whose work on “Killing Zoe” and “The Hills Have Eyes” remake rank among my favorites. Their music heightens an already intense motion picture to something which will fry your nerves and leave you on the edge of your seat even as we are forced to endure some unintentionally hilarious moments.

Granted, you can’t always expect David Mamet or Aaron Sorkin to be underwater with you when words fail you. When Moore cries out about how the shark almost got me, the audience I was with couldn’t help but laugh as it seems like such a silly thing to say. But then again, what would really say if we were stuck in the same predicament? I doubt we would be uttering a monologue out of Eugene O’Neill’s “A Long Day’s Journey into Night.” Of course, it always helps to have John Milius around when you need him.

Moore and Holt do strong work in creating a bond between and work hard to create characters who, while not having too much in the way of depth, quickly realize they need one another to survive this ordeal. Seeing one of them take off their mask and remove their oxygen tank just to get through the bars of the cage is enough to make one shiver, and this is accomplished without the use of special effects. The actresses are also aided by actor Matthew Modine who plays the Captain of the boat, Taylor. For the most part, we hear his voice more than we see him, but he gives strong support as he encourages his guests, people he never should have put in any danger, a reason to stay calm. In addition, he also reminds the ladies and the audience that the bends is not just the title of a Radiohead album.

Roberts previously directed “The Other Side of the Door,” a supernatural horror thriller which started off well, but later got bogged down in clichés it would have been smarter to avoid. “47 Meters Down,” however, is all about clichés, and just as Harlin did with “Deep Blue Sea,” he manages to manipulate those clichés to where we think we know what to expect, and then we are totally caught off guard. Just watch the scene where the actresses are playing around with an underwater camera, and you will understand what I mean.

Yes, the sharks are CGI, but they are still frightening antagonists in this movie. After a while, the terror comes from a combination of what we think is going on above the water as well as what we cannot see. The water is made to look especially murky to where we can’t see much of what is in front of us, and this leads to an especially scary moment when a character swims out to a certain point, and then suddenly can’t remember the direction in which she came.

Look, “47 Meters Down” is not Oscar material, but it never pretends to be either. While it may not reach the heights of “Jaws” or the unbearable intensity of “Open Water,” it is a taut thriller which will allow the audience a nice diversion for a couple of hours. Roberts and his cast understand exactly what this movie aims to be, and they deliver in a way which will get your adrenaline pumping. You can laugh all you want at the foolishness of the characters, but in this instance their foolishness is necessary for this movie to work at all.

* * * out of * * * *